Hey Jessie: A nanny, a butler, some adopted kids, some bio-kids, rich absentee NYC parents and this theme song you can never get out of your head: “FEELS LIKE A PARTY EVERY DAY HEY JESSIE! HEY JESSIE!”
Fuller House: Has-been 80s sitcom stars wash up on Netflix after overcoming real-life meth addiction and religious brainwashing to reunite in a nostalgic reboot with the same themesong that will make every adult who watched the original on TGIF remark how good John Stamos still looks.
Lab Rats: Biracial Brady Bunch has robot kids with bionic superpowers secretly living in their basement.
Larva: Cartoon worms and grubs beat each other over the head with stuff for 20 mercifully dialogue-free minutes.
Free Reign: British tweens engaged in equestrian drama like which horse won what race and who is secretly in love with whom and who is recovering from a horse-related injury.
Angry Birds: A video game that should never have been anything else is somehow on every lunchbox and pair of boys’ underpants and also a show involving green pigs.
Good Luck, Charlie: A nurse who doesn’t believe in birth control and her bug exterminator husband inexplicably live in a mansion in suburban Chicago with their five rowdy kids ranging in age from 2 to 22.
Mighty Med: Saved by the Bell meets Doogie Howser.
Kickin’ It: Saved by the Bell meets the Karate Kid.
