"Heart’s Intention vs. Venting" by Sharon - 2.9.17

Entry Submitted by Sharon at 6:24 PM EST on February 9, 2017

Heart’s Intention vs. Venting by Sharon

Good morning DC family,

I just had a family friend vent their opinion upon me, with total disregards to how the words and way he shared them. The result was condescending and hurtful to me as a parent. I began to defend myself, and my child, but what I shared came on deaf ears. So I sat there and allowed him to tell me how I should have raised my daughter, solely based on his observations without knowing the facts.

Many times I see this similar behavior here within the DC community, where opinions are written out of frustration or anger without it being thought through of how others may feel. It’s one thing to share an opinion, but how many of us think about our heart’s intention of the words we are about to say or write.

If we are just venting why don’t we take accountability for what we say or write and let others know it is only your opinion or that you are venting out of frustration. If you are just sharing how you feel about a person or situation, do you really think before you speak or write? Do you speak from the heart or the head? What is your intention? To hurt or harm those you are speaking or writing about? To belittle or shame someone into an inferior level just to make you feel better? I hope not.

I know my family friend didn’t mean any harm, but he was so conditioned to reacting, jumping to conclusions and expressing his dominance over others that he had no idea how hurtful his words and presentation of those words were to me. So what was my response? I became defensive trying to explain and justify myself, than I sat there in silence. Later as I reflected on the conversation, I realized that allowing those words to hurt me seemed to be the loving thing to do, but was it? The loving thing to do would have been to calmly say thank you for your opinion, but I am raising my child in the most loving way that is specific for her needs and abilities.

Sometimes I am embarrassed by what I read here, when it comes to someone’s opinion. And yes I know I have the right to not read an article, but there are many who share inspirational things or just have encouraging words to help us through rough times. You never know until you start reading. It just becomes disheartening when you read hurtful words. That’s when I stop reading. Many of my friends here on this site have told me they no longer read the guests opinions, because they have been filled with negative, hateful and closed mindedness. How sad!

We can lovingly approach our differences unconditionally if we allow ourselves to do and say unto others the way we would desire others to treat us and speak about us. Or as my good ole mom would say, “If you can’t say something nice about someone don’t say it at all!”

Of course the above words are IMO!