Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts

I live in a chicken's house

Dear George,  
This is absolutely true! I was rescued together with my brother by our biological mother.
I never found out how or why our lives were in danger but our mama carried us over to this place and dropped us (literally) in a chickens ‘nest! Amazingly the chickens immediately adopted us. They even adopted our mama and let her live here with us. The chickens’ house is on a big, beautiful property with lots of trees and green space.
There are some humans living there as well but they have a bigger house for themselves.
They seems happy to see us here. They take good care of the chickens and they feed us too. My brother is very shy and so is mama (guess she was abused) but I’m more adventures and bold. I let the human daddy hold me. Even the human kitten held me and pet me and talked to me all summer. I don’t know where the human kitten is now….I think she grew up and left the nest! Ah! I miss her!
Hope she’ll come back otherwise I’m afraid I’ll develop the “empty nest syndrome” (I heard the humans talking about it). 
George, I also heard that cats’ friendship with chickens is unusual. Is that true?
Do you know of any other unusual friendships?
Cheers,
Mia, the tabby 

Dear Mia,
You are not alone.There's a case here where a hen has adopted a chicken. And there are several Youtube videos of mother cats that have adopted ducklings and chicks. The maternal instinct is very strong and when chicken and cat cuddle up together, they mix their smells. And for cats, the smell of home and mother, is very important.
An even more famous cat was the stable cat who was friends with Mr Darley's Arab. The horse is one of the founders of the thoroughbred breed and it chummed up with the cat. When the horse finally died, it is said that the cat disappeared or may have died of grief. We don't know its name or perhaps it never had one.
And of course, many cats make friends with that other different and inferior species - humankind.
Yours
George.

Winners!


Before I list the names of those who won the drawings for the prizes offered in last Friday's Skip a Starbucks Day adoption fundraiser, I have to take a moment to extend a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who donated to Isabella's adoption fund, who donated prizes for the giveaway, and who tirelessly promoted the fundraiser. Many of you are strangers to me, and the beauty of your incredible generosity has blessed our family in ways I can't even put into words. We prayed that we might at least raise 5k of the 15k needed. Instead, we raised every penny we needed and had enough left over to give a donation to The Moses Basket for another adoptive family to use. We are so grateful to God and to all of you who opened up your hearts to our little girl. As soon as China gives us permission to travel (we expect to go sometime this summer), we will announce that here and post from China as well so that you can share in the homecoming.

Now, on to the winners! I used Google docs, which gave me a spread sheet and assigned everyone a number. Then I used random.org to pick the winners.

 If you won a prize, yay! I will be emailing the donor your info. Prizes should go out this week and next depending on the donor's schedule. (Some authors are currently on tour.) Thanks again for making Friday and Saturday such an incredible story of love and generosity for my daughter.

PRIZE:                                                                                             WINNER:

Level One:

FAKING NORMAL by Courtney C. Stevens                                               Heidi Zweifel
Handmade mitts by Jodi Meadows                                                               Doricela Millan-Sotelo
57 LIVES OF ALEX WAYFARE by MG Buehrlen + YABC tote                 Heather Gonyo
KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES by Shannon Messenger                           Miranda Wyattmills
LET THE SKY FALL by Shannon Messenger                                              Charissa Weaks
Handmade knitted cap by Heather Lindahl                                                     Jessie Patterson
INDELIBLE by Dawn Metcalf                                                                        Melissa Findley
UNNATURALIST & THE TINKER KING by Tiffany Trent                          Stephanie Carson
RENEGADE & REVELATIONS by J.A. Souders                                          Missy Holmes
GRAVE DANGER by Rachel Grant + t shirt                                                   Yara Reca-Vargas
REBOOT + advance copy of REBEL by Amy Tintera                                      Kay Hudson
REBOOT + advance copy of REBEL by Amy Tintera                                      Jennifer Weiser
REBEL BELLE by Rachel Hawkins + poster                                                    Katherine Coates
IF YOU FIND ME by Emily Murdoch                                                              Erica Haglund
ASK ME by Kimberly Pauley                                                                           Ashley Am
THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE by Rae Ann Parker                                             Janine Hays
OF POSEIDON by Anna Banks                                                                       Brianna Shrum
HEMLOCK by Kathleen Peacock                                                                    Jason Nelson
HEMLOCK by Kathleen Peacock                                                                    Melissa Brooks
UNINVITED by Sophie Jordan                                                                        Brittany Moore
FIRELIGHT by Sophie Jordan                                                                          Anne Brown
MOONLIT by Jadie Jones                                                                                Stephanie Pajonas
EYES LIKE STARS by Lisa Mantchev                                                             Dextra Hoffman
THIS SIDE OF SALVATION by Jeri Smith-Ready                                          Victoria Scott
SUBLIME by Christina Lauren                                                                          Jasmine Stairs
TOUCHING THE SURFACE by Kimberly Sabatini                                         Vicki Bechet
STARTERS by Lissa Price                                                                                Megan Trotter
MY BLUE IS HAPPY by Jessica Young                                                           Adrienne Rosado
CHARMED VENGEANCE by Suzanne Lazear                                                Ashley Hufford
THE CAVENDISH HOME FOR BOYS AND GIRLS by Claire Legrand        Rachel Baker
THREE by Kristen Simmons                                                                              Pauline & Eliana Campos
MY LIFE NEXT DOOR by Huntley Fitzpatrick                                                Melissa Maggi
BRIGHT BEFORE SUNRISE by Tiffany Schmidt                                             Casey Chwiecko
STORYBOUND & STORY'S END by Marissa Burt                                        Jamie Wilson
THE DARK LIGHT by Sara Walsh                                                                   Paola Benavides
BORN WICKED by Jessica Spotswood                                                           Bridget Howard
THE PRINCESS IN THE OPAL MASK by Jenny Lundquist                           Teal Haviland


Level Two:

Grab Bag of YA books donated by Kristin Rens                                                Michelle Kellogg
Grab Bag of middle grade books donated by Kristin Rens                                  Sophie Riggsby
Grab bag of assorted books donated by Holly Root                                           Amber Lough
GIRL OF FIRE & THORNS trilogy by Rae Carson                                          Daisy Richeson
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE trilogy by Beth Revis                                             Sara Spock
EVIDENCE series by Rachel Grant                                                                   Shannon Mizikoski
SAMANTHA OWENS series by J.T. Ellison                                                    Kailey Jerome
ANGEL EYES trilogy by Shannon Dittemore                                                     Keli Gwyn
BLOOD OF EDEN trilogy by Julie Kagawa + dragon figurine                           Jennifer Souther
Box of recent YA releases donated by Wendy Darling                                       Lora Beth Johnson

Full manuscript critique by literary agent Pam Van Hycklama Vlieg                     Cate Hart


Level Three:

Diamond & tanzanite jewelry set donated by Heather Lindahl                             Mindy Ruiz
Jewell handbag donated by Amy Rosa                                                               Stephanie Scott
Set of Harlequin Presents + 2 hot military romances by Lynn Raye Harris           Laura Kramarsky
IRON FEY boxed set by Julie Kagawa                                                             Kelly Wood
$50 Barnes & Noble gift card donated by Jenny Lundquist                                Amy Olsen

Congratulations to the winners! If the prize donors have any questions or need more information, they will get in touch with you.

Thank you again to all who came together to help us bring Isabella home. You will forever be in our hearts.



Skip a Starbucks Day Adoption Fundraiser

**Edited to Add: You did it! The full 15k needed to bring her home this summer has now been raised. We are so incredibly grateful to God and to all of you for giving generously to help Isabella come home. Any additional donations that come in will be given to The Moses Basket as a grant for another adoptive family. Drawings for the prizes will happen Monday. Thank you all!






Our Story:

In November of 2010, my husband Clint and I were in China finalizing the adoption of our first daughter and preparing to bring her home. During the two and a half weeks that we were in China, we both came to the realization that we had to go back. We knew there was one more little girl waiting somewhere in China who belonged in our family. We also knew that this time around, we wanted to adopt a child with some medical needs. 

We turned in our dossier to China in the beginning of February 2014, and we figured, based on the average wait time for special needs families, that we had about an 8 month wait to get our referral. (A child’s picture and file matched to a family.) But there are two ways to be matched to a child through the special needs program. One is to wait for China to get to your file, translate it, and then search for a child who matches your medical checklist (the list of things we’ve said we’d accept). The other is to be matched to one of the Special Focus kids whose files are sent to our agency each month. Special Focus children are those who are considered hard to place with a family. They have multiple medical conditions, and many families sign on for only one need.

Clint and I early on felt that we needed to be open to multiple needs. I kept seeing us with a girl who had a cleft palate and a heart murmur. Clint kept seeing us with a girl who had minor hearing loss and a missing or extra limb. 

Two weeks after our dossier arrived in China, our agency called us with a Special Focus child to consider. Her file arrived to us on her second birthday. She had cleft palate, congenital heart disease, minor hearing issues, and an extra thumb.

In other words, she is everything Clint and I kept seeing for our daughter. *cue the moment we started weeping*




Isabella Grace was abandoned beneath a highway overpass when she was four months old. She had severe pneumonia, along with her heart disease and cleft palate, which were both causing her medical difficulty. That says to me that her parents loved her, and they tried for four months to care for her in secret, either to avoid paying the second child penalty fee, which is prohibitive for poorer families, or because they couldn’t afford her medical care, and when they realized she was going to die without care, they put her where she would be quickly found. Highways in China, especially in cities, are much different than ours. They are choked with pedestrians and bicyclists. She was sure to be found quickly.

She is a strong, brave little girl. A month after she was found, she had heart surgery to repair four different defects in her heart. She was in and out of the ICU for recurring pneumonia during her first year. In her second year, she had two surgeries to repair her lip and palate and to remove her extra thumb. At two years old, she’s still tiny (wearing 9 month clothing size), she’s not walking on her own yet, and she doesn’t have many words yet. Her delayed development is a result, I feel certain, of her constant surgeries and hospital stays.

The orphanage reports that Isabella is quiet, shy, and loves to smile and grab onto the nannies and play with them. We can’t wait to bring her home! 

This is where you come in. We need to raise Isabella’s orphanage fee of 5k and the 10k we need to travel to China and to stay there for the two and a half weeks it takes to finalize her adoption. The concept of Skip a Starbucks Day is simple: skip an indulgence or two and donate the money toward Isabella's adoption fund instead. You can see our goal and how close we are to meeting it on the sidebar of this page. 

I know you'd donate even without me offering you something tangible in return, but to make this even more fun, a bunch of my friends have donated some really amazing prizes! (listed below) To enter, simply donate and then fill out the form at the bottom of this page.*

Thank you so much for helping us bring our sweet daughter home. Your generosity in early donations have already raised almost 3k toward our goal (as of the writing of this post). That is incredible! Isabella will know the story of how a community of people came together to bring her home to her forever family. 

To donate, please use the Paypal button on the sidebar ---> 

If you are on your phone and can't see the donate button, scroll down and choose to see the page in web version and the button should appear.

Anything donated above our 15k need will be given to The Moses Basket, a non-profit organization that supports adoptive families through grants, resources, and support.

Don't forget to enter the prize giveaway by using the form below! I will use random.org to choose a winner for each prize from those who qualify. The prize giveaway is open until 9 a.m. CST Monday, March 31st.

And again, THANK YOU.

*Tennessee law requires me to offer these prizes with no purchase required, so if you decide to enter the giveaway without donating toward Isabella's adoption fund, you can legally do so. 


Prize Level One - Minimum Donation of $5*

*1 signed copy of FAKING NORMAL by Courtney C. Stevens

*1 pair of fingerless knitted mitts donated by Jodi Meadows

*1 signed copy of THE 57 LIVES OF ALEX WAYFARE by M.G. Buehrlen and a YABC tote bag

*1 signed copy of KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES by Shannon Messenger

*1 signed copy of LET THE SKY FALL by Shannon Messenger

*1 knitted cap donated by Heather Lindahl

*1 signed copy of INDELIBLE by Dawn Metcalf

*1 signed copy of THE UNNATURALISTS & 1 signed copy of THE TINKER KING by Tiffany Trent

*1 signed copy of RENEGADE and 1 signed copy of REVELATIONS by J.A. Souders

*1 signed copy of GRAVE DANGER by Rachel Grant plus t-shirt

*1 signed copy of REBOOT plus an advance copy of REBEL by Amy Tintera (2 of these sets up for grabs)

*1 signed copy of REBEL BELLE by Rachel Hawkins plus poster

*1 signed copy of IF YOU FIND ME by Emily Murdoch

*1 signed copy of ASK ME by Kimberly Pauley

*1 signed copy of THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE by Rae Ann Parker

*1 signed copy of OF POSEIDON by Anna Banks, donated by Fallon Vaughn

*1 signed copy of HEMLOCK by Kathleen Peacock (2 of these available)

*1 signed copy of UNINVITED by Sophie Jordan

*1 signed copy of FIRELIGHT by Sophie Jordan

*1 signed copy of MOONLIT by Jadie Jones

*1 signed copy of EYES LIKE STARS by Lisa Mantchev

*1 signed copy of THIS SIDE OF SALVATION by Jeri Smith-Ready

*1 signed advanced review copy of SUBLIME by Christina Lauren

*1 signed copy of TOUCHING THE SURFACE by Kimberly Sabatini

*1 signed copy of STARTERS by Lissa Price

*1 signed copy of MY BLUE IS HAPPY by Jessica Young

*1 signed copy of CHARMED VENGEANCE by Suzanne Lazear

*1 signed copy of THE CAVENDISH HOME FOR BOYS AND GIRLS by Claire LeGrand

*1 signed copy of THREE by Kristen Simmons

*1 signed copy of MY LIFE NEXT DOOR by Huntley Fitzpatrick

*1 signed copy of BRIGHT BEFORE SUNRISE by Tiffany Schmidt

*1 signed copy of STORYBOUND and STORY'S END by Marissa Burt

*1 signed copy of THE DARK LIGHT by Sara Walsh

*1 signed copy of BORN WICKED by Jessica Spotswood

*1 signed copy of THE PRINCESS IN THE OPAL MASK by Jenny Lundquist

*Tennessee law requires me to offer these prizes with no purchase required, so if you decide to enter the giveaway without donating toward Isabella's adoption fund, you can legally do so. 


Prize Level Two - Minimum Donation of $10*

Donors at this level qualify to have their names (or the name of  your choice) written on the back of a puzzle piece. We will be making a puzzle out of a picture of Isabella and using a two-sided frame so that she can see the legacy of love that brought her home. Donors also qualify for Prize Level One.

*Grab bag of YA books donated by Kristin Rens at Harper Collins

*Grab bag of Middle Grade books donated by Kristin Rens at Harper Collins

*Grab bag of assorted books donated by Holly Root

*1 signed GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS trilogy by Rae Carson

*1 signed ACROSS THE UNIVERSE trilogy by Beth Revis plus swag

*1 signed set of Rachel Grant's EVIDENCE trilogy

*1 signed set of SAMANTHA OWENS novels by J.T. Ellison

*1 full manuscript critique from literary agent Pam Van Hylckama Vlieg (There is a question on the entry form to indicate if you are interested in this prize. She has a two month turn around for the critique.)

*1 signed ANGEL EYES trilogy by Shannon Dittemore plus bookmarks

*1 signed set of BLOOD OF EDEN trilogy by Julie Kagawa plus dragon figurine

*A box of YA new releases plus swag donated by Wendy Darling

*Tennessee law requires me to offer these prizes with no purchase required, so if you decide to enter the giveaway without donating toward Isabella's adoption fund, you can legally do so. 


Prize Level Three - Minimum Donation of $25*

Donors at this level qualify for both Prize Level One and Two as well.


*1 diamond and tanzanite necklace and earring set

*1 Jewell handbag donated by Amy Rosa

*10 Harlequin novels plus 2 hot military romances by Lynn Raye Harris

*1 signed box set of THE IRON FEY series by Julie Kagawa

*1 $50 Barnes & Noble gift card donated by Jenny Lundquist

*Tennessee law requires me to offer these prizes with no purchase required, so if you decide to enter the giveaway without donating toward Isabella's adoption fund, you can legally do so


ENTRY FORM

Heads Up

I want to clear something up. It will only take a minute. I keep getting the following comment from people when they hear that I have three biological boys and then adopted a girl: "Oh, how nice. You finally got your girl."

They don't mean "Oh, you finally brought home the girl you were waiting for the last five years." They mean "Oh, you really always wanted a baby girl but kept having boys and finally took matters into your own hands so you could get the girl you always wanted in the first place."

So, I want to clear this up. When I gave birth to Starshine, my youngest boy, I was put-a-fork-in-me done with having kids. Done. And I didn't feel the slightest bit of disappointment that I had all boys. I was on an incredible adventure with my boys, and it felt just right. Every single pregnancy, all I wished for was a healthy baby. Boy or girl, it didn't matter.

Years later, we felt called to adopt a girl. Not because we somehow missed out all those years with only having boys, but because we felt called to adopt a girl. Period. My boys have never been a source of disappointment to me. I didn't adopt because I needed to have a girl in the house. I adopted because Johanna is ours.

While I'm clearing things up, please don't ever refer to my boys as "my own" children while Johanna is something else. They are all my own children. When people say things like "Wow, you adopted even though you have "your own" children?" or "I want to adopt, but I want to have my own children first," I want to punch them. Johanna is our child as completely as any of my boys. If you want to refer to "my own" children, make sure you mean all four of them, please. I punch like a man.

=)

The Power of Hope

You know that feeling? The one that says you're on the brink of something important. Life-changing. Sort of terrifying in that dizzying, stomach in your throat, hands-shaking way? The one that creeps through your veins on stealthy feet, scorching your blood with the one thing you crave like air?

Hope.

Hope that what you want is finally within your grasp. That tomorrow really will be better than today. That your dreams aren't so far out of reach anymore.

Hope.

We burn with it. Breathe with it. Secretly hold it with white-knuckled fingers because without it, we're lost.

I've hoped for many things in my life. Safety. Sanity. A first kiss. Healing. The feeling that I could hold my head high, despite myself. A marriage built to last. Children who know they are loved and cherished.

One child in particular who filled my heart for five long years before I finally looked into her gorgeous dark eyes.

I hoped for her. Longed for her. Ached so much my arms felt empty, my house felt too quiet, my family felt incomplete without her.

And in China I realized the hope I sheltered for this one little girl is a drop in the bucket for the hope needed to turn the tide for so many.

So many.

An estimated 930,000 girls currently live in orphanages across China. Many of them are classified special needs which usually means something easily fixed with surgery but which means they are the outcasts. The lepers of Chinese society. The ones who even as babies are shunned. Mocked in public. Refused love.

It's incomprehensible, but I saw it. Adults crowding around a toddler with a cleft palate, making horrible faces at her, pointing and laughing, saying she deserved her fate. Where's her hope? Where's her chance to unlock everything she was created to be?

It isn't in China.

It isn't just those classified as special needs. As I held Johanna tight and listened to one Chinese person after another tell me she would have a beautiful life, I stared across the alley from our hotel at a whorehouse whose girls all looked fourteen, if that. Those are the girls without family. Without protection. Without a dowry.

Without a future, they must buy their own with the only currency they have: their bodies.

That was Johanna's future without the hope that lit love inside of us for a child we'd never met. I cry when I think of her growing up with no one to notice how much she loves music. How she growls at her brothers and makes them laugh. How she buries her face in my shoulder and rubs against me when she's tired. How she burns with hope of her own now.

I look back at the contradictions in China. The fierce sense of family for all those privileged enough to not be left at bus stops, public parks, or orphanage steps. The blind eye turned toward the plight of those deemed pariahs for medical conditions we'd fix in a blink of an eye. The honor given to marriage. The complete acceptance of babies left in an orphanage until they're old enough to pay their way on their backs. I look, and I know I can't look away.

Hope.

I can't look away from 930,000 orphaned girls who need hope. I want to see more girls light up when their forever families walk into the room. More girls whose love of music brings joy to others. More girls who don't have to hide their faces from a room full of mocking adults, but who see nothing but awe at their beauty reflected in the eyes of those who truly love them.

Bringing Johanna home has done more than change the complexion of our family. She's changed my heart by breaking it in all the right places. She's done the same for her brothers. Her grandparents. Our friends. My co-workers. Those who read my blog. One small beacon of hope, flaring to life in May of 2005, has spread into a blaze from one beautiful little girl's story.

I pray that blaze brings a home to more little girls waiting for someone to fall so in love with them, sight unseen, they'd fight any battle, overcome any obstacle, just to hold them in their arms.

Hope.

It's contagious. Can you feel it?

Our Traveling Comes To An End


We're home,  now, and busy trying to recover from some serious jet lag. We've worked to get our days and nights straight and Johanna is almost there. She's still waking up ridiculously early, but it's getting better. She cried for the first couple of hours after we got home, but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that she literally hadn't slept for the past 17 hours since she decided it was much more fun to talk to her fellow passengers than sleep for most of our four plane rides.

Speaking of plane rides, the security in the airports in Guangzhou and Hong Kong make our security look like a walk in the park. We literally went through three identical security checks. By the third one, we were wondering what in the world we could possibly have done to our belongings after walking fifty feet from the last security check. When Clint became frustrated and informed the Communist soldier currently checking our bags that the whole system was stupid (or something along those lines), I quickly told him to go on to the gate and I'd wait while our bags were searched yet again. He left, and the soldier was very polite about the entire experience. It still sucked, but I didn't care. We were getting out of China. That was enough for me.

For some reason, our trip home was full of turbulence. Especially on our 11 hour flight. We had so many bumps and jiggles, even Clint, who never gets motion sickness, was sick. Johanna, however, was fine.

The interesting thing about our plane rides was that the staff on the international flights were incredibly helpful, solicitous, and the plane itself was in beautiful condition and had multiple entertainment options. The U.S. flight from San Fran to Chicago on American Airlines? Not so much. It started with the plane arriving late to the gate due to rainy weather. Nothing American could do to control that, but it was stressful for us because we already had a mere 45 minutes to catch our connecting flight to Nashville. When it was clear we'd be leaving 25 minutes late, Clint approached the woman running the gate and asked about our situation. Could we still make our connecting flight? Would they hold the plane for us for a few minutes if they knew we were on the ground and heading their way? Would American provide a cart to quickly transport us from one gate to the next if the gates were far apart? The woman told Clint no, no, and no. Then she said we could fly standby on another flight...except all the flights were full until 5 pm. Our scheduled flight left at 6:30 a.m. We'd already been traveling for almost 25 hours at that point. If we had to hang around for another 11 hours in an airport, we'd be out of diapers and formula by lunch time.

The woman was unsympathetic.

Then the plane arrived and she announced they would be boarding soon in an efficient manner so as to help those of us with connecting flights make our flights. Clint asked if that meant those traveling with small children would board first to get out of everyone's way, and the woman became irritable. She informed him that we would wait until our group was called and that was final.

Once we boarded the plane and settled into our seats, I realized my tray table latch was broken. Not just broken, but mostly gone. And the magazine holder on the seat back in front of me was broken too. I realized that after I shoved the baby bottle into it, only to have it hit the floor. Then, when I opened the tray table, I realized it listed sideways and was totally useless for balancing anything at all. That left us with trying to hold all our baby stuff in Clint's magazine holder while we used his tray alone for any drinks etc we might have.

The plane finished loading and the stewardess announced that we didn't have any running water so there would be no way to wash our hands in the lavatory. By this point, I was worried about missing our connecting flight, frustrated that American cared so little about helping us with the situation, and disgusted that I'd paid so much for a ticket on a plane that wasn't even well maintained. We took off and when the stewardess came around asking about drinks, we asked if we could just have a small bottle of water to fill our baby bottle. The stewardess said no. Then we asked if she could fill it for us. She said no. So I ended up asking for two cups of water and filling it myself. I was beyond frustrated at this point.

Later in the flight, I took Johanna to the one working lavatory (one had a sign on it stating it was out of order.) to change her diaper, only to realize they didn't have a changing table. Each of the international flights we'd been on had a changing table in the lavatory, so I'd expected our domestic flight to have the same. Not only didn't it have a changing table, the entire bathroom was dirty. I ended up standing her over the toilet and trying to change her diaper while working to help her stay upright. When I finally finished, I left the lavatory and informed the stewardess that the bathroom needed some attention. She told me she'd take it under consideration.

As we neared Chicago, we learned we had fifteen minutes to get to our next gate. And that our gate was halfway around the other side of the airport. When we asked the stewardess if perhaps those of us with such a short window of time could de-plane first, we were told no. By that time, many of the passengers around us realized our situation and were gracious enough to stay seated once we landed and let us get out ahead of them. I'm grateful they were so considerate! We ran across the airport, only to realize the stewardess had told us the wrong gate. Thankfully, we found the right gate in time and the lady running the American Eagle connecting flight was nothing but gracious, kind, and solicitous. She assured us she wouldn't have left us behind since we already had boarding passes. I wish her brand of customer service would be taught to the American Airlines personnel who did nothing but treat us like we were troublesome, demanding inconveniences instead of customers who'd paid full price for that flight. I won't ever be flying on American again.

Anyway, we're home now and so grateful to be back! Johanna loves her brothers and enjoys playing with them. She's still a bit clingy to me, but every day she returns a bit more to her bold, outgoing, friendly self. I'm looking forward to a fun Thanksgiving!

I still plan to blog about our experiences in Hong Kong, Nanchang, and Guangzhou using some of the over 600 pics we took. I just need a bit more time to rest and feel like my brain is fully functioning again.

Heading Home


It's been a full week here in Guangzhou. We filled out Johanna's Visa paperwork, visited the American Consulate to take the oath of citizenship on her behalf, went to the local pearl market, visited a mall, took her to a clinic for her mandatory physical examination where we were given antibiotics to treat her continuing chest cold/bronchitis, visited the zoo, and did some souvenir shopping.

About three days ago, we were done. Not done with all the tasks we needed to complete, but DONE with being away from home. We wanted to see our boys, sleep on a bed that didn't feel like a park bench, and eat some good American food. Pretty much every couple in our group felt the same way. This is a long trip, in more ways than one.

Through it all, Johanna remains cheerful and easygoing. She's definitely become Daddy's little girl! She lights up when he walks into the room and starts performing tricks to make him laugh. I'm okay with it because when she's tired or needs to cuddle, she turns to me. :)

This is Friday morning for us, and we're spending the day packing up and getting ready to leave. We head to the airport at 7 pm tonight to catch a flight to Hong Kong. From there, we catch an eleven+ hour flight to San Francisco, switch planes and head to Chicago, switch planes one more time and head to Nashville. It's going to be a long, exhausting trip, but we can't wait to get started! We miss our boys and want to have the entire family together.

Plus, we're excited to sleep in our own bed!

Next week, I'll go through the 600 pictures we took and begin posting about some of the highlights in Hong Kong, Nanchung, and Guangzhou. For now, though, I need to pack and give Johanna her medicine (she's improved greatly!), and make sure I don't leave something essential behind in Guangzhou.

Home soon. I can hardly wait.

Day One in Guangzhou


I didn't realize how much I missed Western food until this morning. We're staying at the White Swan hotel, a beautiful five star hotel that smells normal (the hotel in Nanchang smelled off to our Western noses). A breakfast buffet is included in our room charge. We had a breakfast buffet in Nanchang as well, but it was always a challenge to find anything appetizing to eat. There were intestines, stewed fish, "preserved" hard boiled eggs (eggs that were 4 months old), rice, noodles, mustard buns, and various other concoctions that just didn't appeal to me. Today, I recognized almost everything on the buffet and it tasted GREAT. I felt revived as I ate crisp bacon, an omelet that wasn't drenched in soy sauce like the one in Nanchang, French toast made the way I would make it, and real orange juice (the juice in Nanchang tasted like weak Tang).
 
I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about the food in Nanchang. It was plentiful. And it was appealing to most of the hotel's clientele. It just wasn't appealing to me. :)
 
I felt like I could conquer anything with a decent breakfast under my belt. The only exception to that attitude is the bed we sleep on. The Chinese feel strongly that a firm bed is best for the back. I agree. The problem here at the White Swan is that my definition of firm is "somewhat unyielding" and their definition of firm is "feels like a slab of concrete."
 
I do not exaggerate.
 
When we first walked into the room, I plopped down on the bed, expecting it to give like a normal bed. Instead, it was like plopping onto a park bench. My spine did not thank me for the experience. I tried to sleep well, but eventually ran out of comfortable positions and got up seriously early instead.
 
We spent the day wandering around the shops in the White Swan area. I was delighted to discover a Starbucks! Never has a mocha frapp tasted so good. Clint, who doesn't like coffee, got a chocolate frapp and let Johanna have a sip. No sooner did he take the cup away and place it on the table, but she was literally trying to climb her way out of her stroller so she could steal the rest of his drink. We may have a little chocolate addict on our hands already. My mother will be so proud.
 
We purchased a few souvenirs for the boys, and then bought Johanna a pair of squeaky shoes, a tradition here in China for making the children interested in learning how to walk, and then purchased several traditional Chinese dresses for her in her current size and several sizes above. The rest of the day was devoted to playing with her until dinner. Our group had dinner together at a local Thai place. Dining out in Guangzhou is interesting because you don't tip the waiters. The tip is already added to the bill and the service definitely reflects that. The servers barely pay attention to you and the food comes out as it's ready. Regardless of whether the rest of the table's food is ready. Which means the meals slowly trickle to the table and the last person might get their meal after the first couple of people are already done eating. It's strange to us, but we just roll with whatever we find here.
 
We took pictures of Johanna (of course!) playing around, and wearing the skirt from one of her new traditional dresses. Be prepared to die from the Cute.








  

Leaving Nanchang

Yesterday was our last day in Nanchang. We boarded a flight for Guangzhou mid-morning and began the second half of our stay here in China. Johanna did very well on the flight. She took a bottle and fell asleep just after take-off, slept most of the flight, and then woke up to charm the surrounding passengers with her consistent attempts to fling herself backwards into the aisle so she could see everyone behind her. Trying to hold on to her when she's awake is like trying to wrestle a twenty pound wet fish.

A few things really stood out to me about our time in Nanchang (pronounced Nan-chung), so I thought I'd share them with you. First, of course, it will always have a special place in our hearts because it's where we first met Johanna. I'll always treasure the hours we spent in our hotel room playing, sleeping, and bonding with each other.



I'm also grateful to our agency's staff. Evelyn and Karen were available to us 24-7 and clearly loved our babies. It was sad to leave them, even though I wanted badly to get to Guangzhou.



Nanchang is city fairly free of Western influence. Nothing is in English, old customs are still followed, the food is mostly unrecognizable to us, and because they rarely see Americans, we were literally mobbed every time we went outside the hotel. It was an interesting experience. Sometimes, the people crowded too close, reaching out to touch Johanna and making it impossible for us to move forward. But mostly, they just wanted to understand what we were doing with a Chinese baby (Evelyn and Karen provided us with a card to take with us everywhere that explained in Cantonese that we were adopting an orphan and bringing her to America.). Once they understood we were adopting her, we got many thumbs up signals and smiles as the people kept repeating the Cantonese phrase for "she's going to have a beautiful life."

One of the "Western" things we really missed in Nanchang was the concept of cold drinks. No one drinks anything cold here. The soda is room temperature (and the two soda options are Coke and Sprite. No diet.), and the Chinese prefer to drink their water hot. I was excited to hear that the ice in the White Swan hotel in Guangzhou is safe for us. I really can't wait to have cold drinks every day!

Nanchang is also a place where old world beauty and recent poverty live hand in hand. We saw a royal palace, a pristine Buddhist temple, and some lovely artwork. We also saw (usually side by side with the beauty) dilapidated apartment buildings with laundry hanging from racks at every window, trash littering every alley, enough air pollution to make L.A. look like an environmentalist's dream, and people curing meat by hanging it over nearby telephone wires.





We also had a strange experience in The People's Park. It's a gorgeous park with a playground, exercise equipment (like you'd see in a gym), footpaths, statues, a river, some carnival rides, some places for the Chinese to do Tai Chi or traditional dance, and a life-size checker board where the checkers each weighed about 50 lbs. Right after we arrived, a Chinese man in a red jacket with a professional looking camera around his neck began snapping pictures of our group. We were used to the Chinese wanting to take pictures of the strange Americans by that point, but then I noticed that he wasn't actually taking pictures of our entire group (9 families total). He was taking pictures of Johanna.

After the fourth shot, I figured he had enough and walked away. He followed. For the next twenty minutes, he followed us everywhere and consistently took pictures of Johanna only. Other moms began crowding around my stroller to block her from his view. He got creative and took to the high ground. Then, as Clint and I stood beside the stroller for another couple to snap our picture, he came up behind the couple and literally rested his camera on our friend's shoulder so he could take our picture too.

I'd had enough. It's one thing to take a few pics of a pretty baby, but who needs twenty shots of a stranger's child? It felt intrusive and unsettling. I told Evelyn about him and she caught him taking yet another picture of Johanna. Turns out, Evelyn can be a scary girl when she needs to be. I'm not sure what she said, exactly, but it sounded a lot like "Bother this baby again and I'm going to open up a can of funky, Nanchung style." He left us alone after that. Clint told Evelyn if Johanna ends up on an advertisement to please send us a picture of it. :)

That was a memorable experience (and gave me new sympathy for celebrities trying to protect their children from insistent picture-taking paparazzi), but above all, what stands out to me the most about Nanchang is the traffic. It's insane. If you're from a big city and you think you know what I mean when I say "insane," you don't. I've never seen anything like it. The freeway was clogged with buses, cars, people on scooters, on bikes, ON FOOT. No one payed any attention to pesky details like lanes. In fact, I don't know why the city bothered to paint lines on the road at all since everyone ignores them and instead, drives (or walks) through gaps in the existing traffic. Once we got to the city itself, I realized what I saw on the freeway was tame in comparison. I decided they didn't need traffic lights any more than they needed lanes because no one paid attention. The streets and intersections are a maze of people walking, riding bikes, riding scooters, driving cars, or driving buses. Everyone just leaps through whatever gap is available. If you have to turn across traffic, you just start turning and slowly work your way through everyone else. People drive in the opposing lanes like a sick game of chicken. It's INSANE. I soon learned the rule of the road is that whoever is bigger has the right of way. Since we were in a bus everywhere we went, that meant we did a lot of laying on the horn (horns beep incessantly there) and driving on the wrong side of the road while smaller buses, vans, cars, and people had to scramble out of our way because we were bigger.

You almost have to see it to believe it.

Nanchang was an experience. I'm sure Guangzhou will be an experience in its own way too. Six more days and we get to leave for home!


 

A Trip To Johanna's Roots


Today was a hard day, in a good way. We'd requested a trip to Fengcheng, the city of Johanna's abandonment and orphanage. Our agency reps (who are FABULOUS and who make sure we are well taken care of every step of the way) took all 8 Fengcheng families on a 1 1/2 hour (one way) bus ride to the city this morning.

The Fengcheng orphanage director takes pride in his job and has kept meticulous records for us. One of the things the director is required to do is run an ad with a baby's picture and where the baby was found because parents have one chance to reconsider their decision and reclaim their child. The director saved that ad for each of the babies from the Fengcheng orphanage, so we not only have a newborn picture of Johanna (Yes, she's always had those cheeks!), we know exactly where she was abandoned.

Today, our agency reps took us on a brief tour of the city, stopping at each point of abandonment so the parents could see it, take pictures, and get any information about that location our reps were able to provide. We were last on the list of stops. Other babies were found on hospital steps, in front of a motorcycle shop, at the entrance of a radio/tv company, and in the middle of a busy city park. Our ad simply said she'd been found at the gate of SWL. We had no idea what SWL stood for. The bus pulled up in front of a clean, fancy (by Fengcheng standards) building and our reps called our names. We left the bus, walked to the gate, and the rep pointed behind the fancy building to a clean, brightly painted building with an orange roof and said, "That's the orphanage."

It took us a second before we understood that Johanna's parents had loved her enough to leave her in the one place she was SURE to be found and taken care of. The entrance to the Civil Affairs Building, which is also the entrance to the orphanage. They wanted her to be safe. They cared enough to want to give her a chance for a life they were unable to provide for her.

I cried.

The gate in front of the Civil Affairs Building and orphanage

The orphanage

I don't know her biological parents' story, but I know China's story. The one child policy makes it nearly impossible for families to have more than one child. The only way a family can have a second child is to either pay a hefty fine (equivalent to an entire month's income in a country where both parents must work just to barely make it) or prove that both mother and father are an only child and therefore need an extra child to help take care of the grandparents when they become unable to take care of themselves.

In China, boys are valued more than girls because they ensure the continuation of the family name and because when a girl marries, she leaves her parents and moves in with her husband's family, leaving no one to look after her family in their old age. Many people choose abortions rather than abandonment. Some try to keep the second child hidden for weeks or months before giving in to what feels like the inevitable and abandoning the child. Some even manage to financially pay for the second child for a few years before the mounting school costs combined with the yearly fine become overwhelming, forcing an abandonment. Those who live in the country (Fengcheng is in the country) are much poorer than those who live in the city. Most could never pay the fees.

I don't know what Johanna's parents faced. Did they already have a child and were unable to pay for a second? Were they worried about their uncertain future and felt convinced they needed a boy? I'll never know, but today I learned this: they loved her. They wanted her to be safe, and they did everything they could to make sure that happened. I just wish I could send them a message letting them know the gift of life they gave her is something we will treasure and protect and that she will have the brightest future we're able to give her. I'm grateful to them. Grateful for her. And grateful that one day I can show Johanna her roots and tell her, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her biological parents loved her.





Johanna: Day Two (Plus Photos!)


Johanna continues to thrive with us. She's a little social butterfly who has two speeds: Full Speed Ahead and Sleep. Our only difficulty at the moment is that she really doesn't sleep well. She wakes about every hour and a half all through the night and that means I wake up too. I'm pretty exhausted now, but we'll figure it out!

She now shows a clear preference for us over the Chinese people who come up to talk to her, even though they speak her birth language. She turns from them and burrows into us for comfort. We hold on to those moments!

We've also discovered she has a special skill. She's a champion noodle sucker. It's hilarious. We'll place the tip of a long noodle in her mouth and she'll just suck the whole thing up in no time flat. She's going to give her brothers a run for their money on spaghetti nights!

Here are a few pictures taken of her over the last day. Isn't she just precious?