If he doesn't offer to pay, he's not worth a second date. Yasmeen was looking for advice on what to do on her first ever date - apparently Sharif just used to turn up at her front door with a bag full of chip scraps, which sounds about right now that we know he's a tabloid tell-all - so naturally she turned to Rita. Rita is in her eighth decade of sauciness, and she had a wealth of tips. There was the aforementioned one about getting him to offer to pay, plus:
- Always be late on a first date.
- Play a little bit hard to get.
- Don't be too keen.
- Flirt outrageously, but don't let him kiss you this time.
- Drive him wild.
Single folks, feel free to print these out for future reference. You'll thank me at the wedding.
Photographers just wander maternity wards hawking their wares. The stealth privatisation of the NHS under the Tories continues, as apparently you can't even give birth without some bloke popping his head round the door and trying to flog you a portrait. Not shown in the episode: Eva refusing a pedicure, a selection of beers and perfumes from the Duty Free cart, and a man offering to do a PPI check for her. Wethy General is less a hospital these days, more a Turkish souk.
Some people just don't look right with a beer. The Street's resident lush Audrey decided to forgo her usual V&T in favour of a pint to try and get in Geoff's good books. It's well-catalogued that Mrs Roberts is an alkie par excellence, but she's very much a wines and spirits kind of girl; seeing her with a beer in her hand was just wrong. Fortunately, when they sat down for their three-way-date, Audrey switched to the wine, peering over the top of her glass at Geoff and Yasmeen's flirting and finally realising she was the gooseberry. By the time she sent Geoff off after the true object of his affections, she was half-cut: "I'm perfectly capable of finishing off this bottle of wine by myself," she slurred, before ordering another carafe.
Toyah is beautiful, brainy and crazy. Though maybe not in equal portions, Peter; I think there's definitely a larger percentage of "crazy" in there.
Patti Clare is a national treasure. The Jude saga lumbered into its final stages, crashing across the week's episodes and stinking them up. There is nothing worse than misfiring comedy, except perhaps misfiring comedy with stupid hats. Thank goodness then for Patti Clare, who strapped the whole mess on her back and did her very best to carry it across the line. The dinner party was awful on many levels, but it wasn't the fault of the actors (with the possible exception of blank-faced Jude, who still hasn't taken his shirt off, dammit). Mary is always a highlight, whether she's being funny or heartbreaking, and it's all down to Patti. (I must also record for posterity that Nigel the actor was played by Richard Elis - yes, Huw from EastEnders!).
@merseytart thinks a prawn and scallop risotto sounds lovely, so feel free to invite me to a candlelight supper any time Sally. Just ask the magician to stay at home.
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