Guest Blog Post By Kelly Archer who is on Twitter @mskelstar
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Poor Toyah Battersby. It feels like she doesn’t belong on the Street. In a world of hotpots and kebabs, she doesn’t eat meat. Amongst the false eyelashes and deep cleavages, she dresses with the sort of modesty that would make a Jane Austen heroine look a bit slutty. Toyah is clever and dedicated, she actually put some time and effort into training as a therapist, rather than just rocking up at the Bistro or the factory with a burning desire to wait tables or stitch some knickers. But there’s no outlet for her principles and intelligence in Weatherfield. Her attempts to bring the Rovers into the 20th century (21st would be a bridge too far) by offering, horror of horrors, a vegetarian option was met with derision all round. And her professional training has so far only been put to use in mediating (unsuccessfully) with Liz over some cleaning chores.
Then there’s Peter. Nearly twenty years older than her with more ex’s than Rod Stewart, is he really the best this educated woman can hope for? I’m not even convinced that he truly loves her. When he was being quizzed by Carla the best he could find to say is ‘Toyah keeps me grounded’. I’m sorry…she ‘keeps you grounded’? Not ‘she’s the love of my life’? Not ‘I think about her every waking moment’? Not ‘I’d run stark naked through a swarm of angry bees just for one of her smiles’. Ok maybe the last one is going a bit far, but he did confess to a murder he didn’t commit for the love of the fragrant Ms Connor.
Finally, the Eva/baby storyline, which makes no sense at all. Yes, we know that Toyah desperately wants to have a baby, she went through rounds of costly and heart-breaking IVF with her husband Toby. But there’s the problem – if having a baby that is biologically yours isn’t an issue why didn’t she and Toby adopt years ago? Or why not adopt a baby legally with Peter? Why does it make more sense to secretly adopt a child and then pass it off as your own? We all know this is going to end in tears, and they won’t be new-born baby ones.
So please let’s give the lovely Toyah a storyline that actually fits with her character. Maybe she could challenge Sally for Mayor on a Green Party ticket? Or she could start up her own vegan shake bar? Better still let her set up her own practice at the medical centre dispensing therapy to the residents of Weatherfield. God knows they need it! What with Craig’s OCD and Gail’s gullible belief in vengeful husbands from the other side, she’d never be short of clients. The Barlow family alone could keep her in work for about ten years!
By Kelly Archer who is on Twitter @mskelstar
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