It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me and I'm.....Phelan good! Mrs Phelan is party planning, Pat is plotting. You do you, Phelan, you do you. He has a point: who has a party on a Monday? Sally does, organising her rival dinner party, and Rosie, with her new Cara Delevingne eyebrows, is arranging for Imran to be her significant other.
"You'd be amazed at what we might find at the bottom," says the site manager at the Mill. Well, we won't be. He is convinced that they'll have finished the draining of the lake by the end of the day, so Phelan sends him off, starts his own draining of the swamp and, in a windswept, dark, and noirish scene, he brings up the bodies. He grabs a pipe and starts to fill in the foundations with concrete and the corpses of Andy and Vinny. Just as he is finished and his evil deeds are once more under wraps, his phone vibrates off the ledge and into the concretey grave, quickly followed by Phelan himself. Dun dun dun! Things get worse as he is hit on the head with a pipe, but quickly better as Tim and Eileen find him and call an ambulance. He is released from hospital and Eileen tells him she doesn't want to lose him. I'm not going anywhere, he tells her. Well, that's what you think, Mr P.
Moira comes to the party with a chocolate fountain and lots of hilariously caustic remarks. I was genuinely upset when she left with Vic Reeves, Jim Moir, Colin, and I'm dead pleased she's back, battling with Amy for coveted title of The New Blanche. Sally's party is ruined by Kate unceremoniously dumping Sophie (this after she's told Zeedan that he can't stop her and Rana being together - Kate's self-righteous morals are informed by her emotions) and Eileen's by the guest of honour being stuck in some concrete and Steve blocking the loo. Everyone decamps to Sally's and they start a game of Twister, encouraged by Gina, who's been on the tequila, it makes her happy (not manic). Imran escapes the clutches of both Rosie and Moira and has a go at Rana, whom he doesn't think will be able to keep her relationship with Kate secret for an entire year.
Fiz is increasingly irritating, moaning about Sean's bra (?) in the washing, whining about Tyrone training for the boxing match, complaining about Sean's dietary tips to the girls. You can't go off to the jungle Cilla's and expect everyone's lives to be on hold, waiting until you get back, Ms Stape. Witnessing Ches upset by Sinead and Daniel canoodling in the street, she offers to takes him on a night out, telling Ty to stuff his training and pick the girls up from ballet (where they are presumably going full Black Swan on the other baby ballerinas), much to Tyrone's dismay.
And finally, Eva and Summer bond over crisps and ice-cream and talk about how they miss Billy. Don't worry Summer, he'll be back:- his contract doesn't run out until August.
Rachel Stevenson - personal blog
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