At this point, Phelan could win the lottery next week and it’d be more plausible than the recent string of lucky coincidences he’s enjoyed. I’m still enjoying his murderous antics: Friday’s cliffhanger was nail-biting stuff. The only disappointing part was the bit where neither Faye nor Seb bit the dust. Nicola and Seb have urged Faye to keep quiet regarding Seb’s whereabouts, so I expect it’ll be common knowledge before the week’s out. To say Faye’s something of a liability would be such a gross understatement that it’s bordering on libellous; but then again, even if she did manage to keep it to herself Phelan would probably spontaneously develop telepathy and find out anyway.
You’d think that, going by how often the residents of the Street have been completely wrong about who’s a criminal and who’s not, they’d all hesitate before assuming Phelan’s guilt, even though this time they’re all completely right. Since his arrest would inevitably spell the return of everyone’s favourite fishwife, perhaps they’ll all just have to learn to accept Phelan for who he is: a cold-blooded serial murderer. It’d be a big ask, not to mention fairly implausible. But then, as Gemma pointed out recently, everyone knows that Tracy once killed her boyfriend and they’re all pretty much fine with it. Swings and roundabouts, innit?
Meanwhile, the whole Rana-Kate-Zeedan story seems to have reached a limp conclusion. Didn’t I say all this would be wrapped up by Valentine’s Day? Zeedan seems oddly keen to spend years of his life locked in a sexless, frosty state of permanent antagonism with a woman he despises. But then, that’s marriage for you. Even before you find out that someone cheated.
Bafflingly, Carla and Daniel actually went and got it on. I had assumed that was a very early April Fools joke. Carla was my favourite character back in the day, but her return has been somewhat muted. Producer Kate Oates has said she doesn’t want Carla “falling back into the same cycle of self-destructive behaviour”, forgetting that that’s what made Carla such a compelling character in the first place. I’m not saying I want her back with Peter (yet… sorry, Toyah) but I’d be completely up for seeing her slot back into her old life: knicker factory, bottles of red, businessmen in dark suits constantly trying to kill her.
What else has been happening lately? Oh yes, Michelle’s son – the real one – is back in town. Why exactly the writers thought that revisiting one of the worst storylines in the show’s history was a good idea is anyone’s guess, but let’s not pre-judge: maybe they’ll do something interesting with it. No, sorry: you’re laughing, aren’t you? Perhaps it’s just me, but if I never wanted to see someone again, I’d probably reconsider taking a job across the road from where they live. It’s little niggling things like that which ruin my suspension of disbelief.
Much as I’m reluctant to heap praise on recent developments – why would I, when nitpicking is so much more fun – I’ve actually been loving the whole Bethany storyline. Understandably, some viewers were mildly dismayed by the thought of her becoming a lap-dancer, but taken in consideration it’s a relatively believable move for someone who’s experienced what it’s like to be powerless and is doing anything she can to regain that sense of control over her life. Bethany’s experiences feel like something that’ll be hanging over her for the foreseeable future; I certainly hope it’ll influence her storylines in years to come, even if it’s only implicitly. It’s a jarring but refreshing change from all the other storylines where characters have recovered from paralysis and brain damage in a matter of weeks. Imagine if Bethany became a man-eating monster in future years. To be honest, I’d probably still be rooting for her. All the best villains have good motivations. You can decide for yourself whether it was the sustained sexual abuse or having to put up with having Sarah for a mother. Both equally awful, in my view.
Guest blog post from Stephen Leach who is on Twitter: @sirterenceboot
Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!
Please read our advice for leaving comments on the Coronation Street Blog
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License