I have mixed feelings about the Billy storyline. On one hand, Daniel Brocklebank has been great, I've believed every bit of pain that he's felt. And the return of Lee has been surprisingly good. But the practicalities have been a bit off. Firstly, enough time has passed to get more pain killers from Dr Gaddas. Secondly, there'd be outpatient appointments. Thirdly, the Rev could probably get a referral to a pain management clinic. Fourthly, what the heck did Eva and Eileen think they were doing, making Billy go cold turkey with no medical supervision? And what exactly was Adam giving him? Surely the opiates Billy was prescribed would be just as strong as the off-brand pain killers from the lying Scotsman? Why didn't he slip his pills to Billy to begin with rather than the paracetamol? Also, don't vicars have sick pay? Why is Billy so skint? Why hasn't the Bishop come to visit, or any of his parishioners? Or Sean, even if it were just to gloat that the romance of the decade ended with Todd
Anyway, Summer hasn't finished (started?) her history project and Billy is called into school, where he bumps into Geraldine, who's kept in contact with Summer's teachers. Geraldine suggests that Summer come and stay with her until Billy is back on his feet (sans crutches). After a tearful farewell with his adopted daughter, Billy once again approaches his bruv for methadone, offering Todd's grandad's pocket watch as payment, but Lee only has heroin, which he and his bro take. What a perfect day!
Audrey's off on a course with the fragrant Claudia and so Bethany is left with Brian and his sensitive follicles. He leaves with a manicure and a Danny from Grease hair-do. Sam, one of the lap-dancers from "Tassels", turns up to tell Bethany that the club has re-opened and the new boss isn't fussy about checking IDs. With Audrey chewing her out for being cheeky to the customers, gyrating half-heartedly on a stage in hot-pants is starting to look like the better option.
Maria's also not in the salon because Liam has been sent home from school for messing with the electrical sockets. Maria tells Beth that she has to stop Craig saying to Liam that he can keep people safe with "magic".
Liz, wearing the contents of an American Apparel closing down sale and half a blouse, pops 'round to the cab office to make it up with Eileen, although her opening gambit is to say she and Steve don't like Phelan, so it doesn't go down that well. Eileen also rows with Nicola, who checks herself out of hospital and into her sister's gaffe in Leeds. But this development at least means that Sarah and Gary get back together for the 894th time.
Chesney has been tasked with looking after Ruby and Hope (Rope from now on), but he has the Food Hygiene fella coming over to the kebab shop, so he delegates childcare to Gemma, who puts the ill children in the yard/ginnel (?) in February (??) and applies blusher to them, which annoys Tyrone until Gemma manages to get them to go to bed without tears. Where's this going then? I think we know....
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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