There's not many tidings of comfort and joy on the cobbles tonight as poor old Billy has been in the boot since 22nd December, without even an eggnog for cold comfort. Peter's not forgotten about the Rev though, he drives him out to erm, the peak district? to hold him over the side of a cliff. He doesn't want to kill him though, just terrify him, make him feel how Susan felt. He chucks away Billy's mobile and tells him to find his own way home. But a scared and probably dehydrated Billy slips and tumbles down the cliff, or rather a bad CGI version of him does. Now....I hate to be the Corrie grinch but this story is a bit odd. We've seen Peter angry before, determined to enact revenge on fiancée-stealer Nick, but he's never been this vindictive. He hasn't even found out what exactly Billy did to kill Susan, doesn't know he was a passenger rather than a driver. TBH, from what I've read on the Classic Corrie reviews, killing Susan off was probably a blessing. Peter confesses all to Ken, who goes off to (lets just call it) the Peaks to find Billy, but he's already been discovered by a walker who's called in the air ambulance. Billy's alive! It's a Christmas miracle! Ken, as paterfamilias, tells the rest of the Barlows that Billy killed Susan, but said info is staying within the family and everyone has to pull together, for once.
"And to think for years I wanted a family Christmas," says Daniel, sarcastically. I think we've all been there, Danny.
In other Barlow news, Tracy is trying to sneak Steve out the front door. Both Daniel and Tracy escape number one to go to the pub whilst Tracy tries to find out who sent Steve a text saying their night of pass-the-sickbag passion was a mistake. My guess is on Amy, because I read the spoilers. Baby Blanche Barlow compares Tracy and Steve to custard and tomato sauce - she likes them separately but not together, never together. Mate, today I tried bread sauce and gravy together, it wasn't too bad, who knows what might work?
Meanwhile, Todd has disappeared with Summer and Geraldine has fetched up at the church like Scrooge in a twinset, saying that she's the only fit person to look after Summer. Geraldine may be a horrible homophobe, but she may have a point given that Billy's in hospital and Todd has been sacked. Eileen tries, like a Lacey-less Cagney, to find out where Todd's gone, but only finds out - from a drunk Sarah-Lou - that Nicola is not having a barbie on the beach in Aus, but is eating turkey sarnies in Weatherfield.
It's not a happy Christmas for Aidan either as Carla still refuses to invest in the factory and he spies Eva and Aidan sharing a Christmas snog without even any mistletoe in sight. Carla makes a surprise appearance at the Connor Chrimbo lunch at the Bistro, much to Jenny's displeasure. Even Michelle doesn't seem that pleased to see her. I am very pleased though! Aidan whinges on about Johnny and Carla splashing the cash around and bangs on about the factory again, showing them the contracts
Comedy is provided by Brian who breaks into Dev's house to leave an apology present for Asha. Dev and Gina are not full of Xmas spirit and call the cops on him. He's released with a caution but when a drunk and disorderly youth starts insulting Cathy, calling her a bin-lid (?), Bri chivalrously punches him and is taken back into chokey.
The Platts provide a little more much-needed levity (come on, we're not at "best Christmas Weatherfield's ever had" level of Eastenders misery, not yet) with Gail's noise cancelling headphones, David complaining that no-one taking his birthday seriously (even dog-David eats his cake). But Shona makes it up to him by giving him a star-filled umbrella, so even when he's in the gutter, he can look at the stars. Aw. And as the jukebox breaks down in the Rovers, Eva and Rita start a Christmas singsong and, well, I've had a few too many sherries, but there was a little tear in my eye.
Happy Christmas everyone!
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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