"The Arrogance of Pride" by Victor - 5.23.17

Entry Submitted by Victor at 12:36 AM EDT on May 23, 2017

I see nothing......I hear nothing ........I build nothing......I give nothing. That is what I do. My name is Pride. I only arrogantly make list of my own dark projections. I also slash and burn anything that creates or uplifts others.

I am so lacking in power and in love that I must strike out to put others down, since I am so small that I am always living in the shadows of others who have LIGHT. I can get my own light and not have to strike out, but I am weak and I am afraid to move from the ditch that I live in. My ditch is not much, but it is all mine and I rule over my ditch. No one tells me what to do in my world.

It is a familiar ditch. Yes, it is damp and cold and little light reflects of the walls to reach me. Yet this is MY ditch. I have decorated it over a whole life time. I got it just the way I want it. I am familiar with every hard stone and moldy crevice. They are my bed and I know it well. It is not much.......but it is all mine and I will fight to death to defend my ditch.

Every day I hear voices outside my ditch and the advice that they try to give me. They have tried for years to talk to me, to get me to come out. But I know it is all a trick.They offer religion, they offer wisdom, they offer me peace and they offer me love and they offer me most of all the thing....... I can't stand the most......."Truth"......I hate the Truth.

I hate that Truth talks down to me and that Truth tries to make me feel small. Truth is always trying to trick me to leave my ditch. I tell Truth every day that I will come out,but......"ONLY"......if Truth can prove to me that I will be better off outside of my ditch. But Truth for years has refused to give me the ...."Proof" ....that I demand from it. It is the arrogant one, the one who stubbornly refuses to comply and then tells me I am projecting my problems......when that is obviously not True. How can I project anything when I have No light down here. You see........my logic is flawless.

If Truth was right?.......why can't Truth give me ....."Proof"? I just want simple proof and I will leave my ditch.......I really will. But Truth fails to convince me that it is telling the Truth and not just trying to trick me. Why doesn't Truth comply to my logic? My logic is flawless and I love it. Why can't Truth see how smart I am? If it can't see that? How can it be the Truth? I win again and I know why it can't see what I see........ because Truth knows that I know more that it does. That is where I have defeated it and proved logical and precisely, that I do really know more than it does. MY lists and arguments are just flawless and I really love then more than anything. That is why I know I will never leave my ditch. Truth can not trick me. I am to smart for it.

I even think Truth may want my ditch for itself. It knows that I have have invested a great deal in my ditch and I know it will go up in value. But that is besides the point. Why is there no proof?.....and why am I always told I have to make the first step towards Truth?....Why is that? .....I think that is another excuse to trick me to leave my ditch. I hate that also.

Yeah.......Truth always rants about ....."Free Will"........and that I have to make the first move. I think that is extremely selfish and if Truth really was loving, it would make the first move and give me the Proof I ask for. But No........always I get the same answer back to me......"that I have to believe in it"....."that I have to have Faith in Truth"........but NO, I will not go....... I can see that is all another of its many tricks.

So, I am never leaving my ditch unless Truth conforms to my rules, to my way, to my demands, to my authority. So far I hear nothing real from Truth but failed promises and grandiose ideas with no facts. So, I have taken an Oath to myself that........."I will not work or build anything for Truth " and "I will give and offer nothing but scorn towards Truth" ........unless Truth conforms to me first!.....and that is it!.....I am not moving from that logical stance, since I know I am right. I Will keep attacking it until it gives up first.

So will keep on offering nothing but criticism, I will build nothing of my own, I will give no love and I will not bow to no power other than my own........" My name is PRIDE"........ and I have my ditch.

Much Love Victor.