Sorry Not Sorry

Frequent readers of this blog know how much I dislike board games. I find them confusing, frustrating, and boring. Adults have tried to make me play Settlers of Catan, children have tried to make me play an inscrutable game about spells and wizards, and now Isaac tried to re-teach me Sorry. Here's how that went:

Isaac: Can we watch cartoons?

Me: No but we can read or play a game.

Isaac: PLEASE CAN WE WATCH CARTOONS?

Me: No.

Isaac: Okay, let's play Sorry.

Me: Okay, sounds good. You'll have to remind me of the rules though. It's been a long time.

Isaac: Okay. So. You have this pile of cards on one side and you put them face down on this other side then you pick a color and put all your guys in start but you can only get out of start with a 2 or a 7 and your goal is to get all your guys into this Jewish star and if you land on the same spot as one of the other person's guys they have to go back to start and can't get out again until you pick a 7 or a 2 or a Sorry but if you get into this safe zone you can't get bumped out because the guys in your safe zone aren't martyr men.

Me: Do you mean margin men?

Isaac: Yes I mixed up my words.

Me: Whatever, I don't get it. Let's just start playing and we'll figure it out.

Isaac: Okay, so you just got a 7 so you can go out.

Me: Where do I go?

Isaac: To that little yellow dot.
Me: But your guy is already on there.
Isaac: So that means I have to go back to my home.
Me: "GO TO YOUR HOME!!" Forget it, it's a Happy Gilmore reference. You wouldn't understand. Ugh. Okay. 11. Why are there so many options of what to do on this card?
Isaac: You tell me. Why don't you read it?
Me: UGH! Can we watch cartoons?
Isaac: Yay! REALLY?!
Me: No.