I accepted the message for what it was, an attempt to help those who might be feeling down. He is a good man and he is trying to help. But the fact is that mental health is not really holiday driven.
.MYTH The actuality is that suicide rates drop in November and December.
But I thought about it and thought to look at it further. What prompted the look had to do with a newspaper article of the other day. The article stated that a body had been located in a local park and the person , still alive was transported to the hospital with apparent self inflicted gun shot wound to the head. A wound likely to impair a person for life if they survived..
For some reason , my minds eye formed a picture of a middle aged male. As middle aged males seemingly have absorbed the brunt of many social issues of late, unemployment, economic, health and substance abuse. As a result they kill themselves more frequently than other population groupings. Don't believe me, look it up, it is not just anecdotal. It is a tough world these days for many. It also followed from several stories I have seen of late of people walking into state parks to either hang themselves, Park Or shoot themselves or jump off cliffs., which are many times ascribed to accidental falls. Anecdotally, I was told that hunters are more likely to find suicides than are Park Rangers for the hunters venture far into the woods to remote locations which are seemingly places of choice. The latter being especially so along the Palisades in New Jersey just north of the George Washington Bridge, another location that has seen a spate of attempts over the last several years. So as if this isn't depressing enough, I opened the paper today and there was a follow up article.
More Myth and More Fact
My minds eye picture was off, the person who had shot himself had died, he was a popular high school athlete, whose family is known and loved in the community as was the son. He was 16, I did not finish reading the article. My reaction was immediate and my mood dropped through the floor. It sometimes takes me awhile to rebound from stories like this. It caused me to think of the young lady from the region who went off to college as a student athlete scholar and jumped from the parking garage to her death only months later, an act duplicated shortly thereafter by another local college student. I was reminded of a business associate who killed himself last year. My own contentment placed next to their unhappiness gives me a feeling of guilt. How can I be my way while they are at the same time their way. Rather a harsh assessment I know , but for awhile it is real.
My friend who posted the hot line number for the holiday is well meaning and well intentioned, for it seemingly is a tough time of year for the lonely and stressed. But the reality is that the holidays are not a period of increased suicide deaths. It is a myth, probably brought about by the incongruity of the time of fellowship and joy and good wished and the act of taking ones own life. The truth of the matter is that Spring is more a problem, when life renews .FACTS
Why mention any of this ? It is disturbing and depressing and upsetting to many. Myself included, I have no great joy or thrill in discussing it. It quite frankly bums me out, and the story of the young man is gnawing into my day in the special way that these stories do. But I bring it up because we need to discuss the mental health of our nation , our people, our friends .are suffering silently and we really need to start addressing the underlying causes. A discussion not to be avoided.
When I was younger and screwing up, my father occasionally would call me aside and say we need to have a discussion, I hated those, but invariably they had to be had. Occasionally, they did some good. and sometimes they were even good for me
This result comes from mental illness and not from some defect in character. Hopelessness and despair drive the act. The Unforgivable sin of despair is something we need to be wary of. We must temper that idea of unforgivable with mercy and must fight against the ideas promulgated by those who would say otherwise. Unforgiveable This is an act of a person so ill that they see no other choice. The glib statement, a permanent solution to a temporary problem does no justice to the conditions that motivate suicide. Spirit is gone, there is no help or worth or way around it for those who kill themselves. At best we can try to be vigilant and provide the help when it is sought or to provide the help when we sense that someone might be in need of it. But even that is haphazard, our approach to mental health should begin its long overdue evolution. Our own substance abuse numbers should be screaming that at us in a voice that can't be ignored any longer.
We must remove the so called moral element to concentrate on the medical and psychological elements seeking the cure.for mental illness. We need to have a real open dialogue, and yet we never do and we never dispel the myths and come to real understanding.
The guilt that follows suicide must be dispensed with and in its place we must come to recognize that the person driven to the act may suffer despair beyond that which any of us can fathom. The mind in pain is the worst sort of pain, the mind may be pained by physical cause or emotional cause. But we
need to dispense with the myths and act on the facts and make sure that we are present for those who need our help. I just had to get this out of my head because that story of the morning really bothered me.
I feel badly for his family.