Oh peep, are you awake?
PEEEP!
Ah-ha, there you are. I don't think closing the eyes and pulling duvet over the head and playing possum routine is actually going to work, mainly as there are no possums in this Palace, or probably in the UK, and you just don't have the hairy legs for it.
Yup those legs just wouldn't cut it in the possum world, for sure. In fact if they, the possums, had drums, I am fairly sure that those there legs would be drummed out of the Honorary Society of Possum, without so much of paw shake or a pension. MOUSES!
Now if those legs had decided to join the Skinned Chicken Society, I do believe you might just be in with a chance, but don't count your chickens, or in deed your chicken legs. In fact don't quote me either as I really don't want to get the blame for them legs, they're all yours, for sure.
Now where was I, ah yes. peep ol' fruit, I have a complaint, and I don't mean in the water works department, though in some senses it is.
Now I don't complain often, as you know, but as head of the Palace Complaints Panel, I do feel it is my duty, nay right and fitting to my position, to make full use of the powers vested in me.Um, on that point, peep, when do I get this vest, huh? I mean I've been promised it for ages and still no sign. In fact I haven't even had the fabric swatches or designs to approve.
Not that I am fussy, no ma'am, but a Princess needs to have a suit fit for... er... a Princess! I just can't be seen around the estate, undressed for the occasion, now can I?
It's just like when I took up my community support role as a school crossing warden for the local sparrow and mouse kindergarten, I got one of those natty yellow florescent tabbards with the logo and legend on the back.
Whats that peep?
WHAT!
It was NOT a failure! I mean... OK so it was a bit... OK so they all ran away, but how was I to know the legend on the back had been mixed up from School Crossing Warden cat, and said Cross Waring Cat School den. MOUSES!
Anyways, as I seem to recall YOU, ol' woolly duvet headed one, placed the order! In fact I think it is only fair and due recompense for all the distress caused, that you host the banquet on behalf of the Orphaned & Disabled Mouse Association, of which I am now Chairprincess.
I've ordered the cheese and there will be plenty of nibbles, all you have to do is arrange some tables and make a few beds up for the guests that will be staying for my dinner.... sorry, I mean't staying for my after dinner party!
What do you mean, what is it? It's a mouse of course. Well part of a mouse. Well to be precise, an ex mouse, a mouse sans.... Hmm maybe I should rephrase that, being a family blog and all, and say that said tail and left leg are sans mouse.
No? Aww Mouses!
Come on peep, it's never too early to have a shower, and I really wanted to use that bath, and now I can't.
Pretty please with nip sprinkles on top, is there a chance you could maybe see your self clear to taking a shower, like in the next... hmm, shall we say ten seconds?
I mean I have things to do, mice to chase, and they're stacking up. Well not literally, have you ever tried to stack mice? No? Well let me tell you it isn't easy, and getting those slippery tails and whiskers to knot together takes years of training.
What's that, peep?
WHAT!
Now look, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with MY sense of timing. If you chose to change the clocks, that isn't my problem, and if you chose to sleep in past three in the morning, well you should expect others to still come knocking I mean, the world doesnt stop turning just because you fiddle with with the big hands on the clock, now does it?
Anyways, as your up, sort of, could you remove said... er... object. In fact if you have a shower you could use the bath cream cleanser on yourself, kill two mouses with one paw, as it were, and save wetting the soap. And we all know wet soap in the bath isn't good, no ma'am, plays havoc on the claws and doesn't taste at all nice on the mice.
And if there is one thing this princess doesn't want to do it's start foaming at the mouth look, that just would not go down well at Orphaned & Disabled Mouse Association Ball. Mouses!
Hmm, I wonder though, would it work for politics....