This morning, Juneauites awoke to a rare-ish double rainbow and an even rarer fluorescent pink sunrise. AT THE SAME TIME.
And so we had to ask ourselves (as you do) when you see a double rainbow: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! If by some miracle you don't know what I mean by "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!," just search "double rainbow" and "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" on YouTube, and thank me later.
Anyhoo, here was Juneau's double rainbow, and I think it's a good omen. Here are 5 things this double rainbow surely means for Juneau:
1. That whale sculpture's gonna put Juneau on the fuckin' MAP, baby!
2. We'll get 36 inches of fresh pow at Eaglecrest before Christmas.
3. The price of oil will skyrocket to $200 a barrel and we'll all live like Saudi kings!
4. The lawyers suing the city over the cruise ship head tax will get hired away by Donald Trump, and they won't have time to keep trying to bankrupt the CBJ.
5. Juneau buy/sell/trade, Craigslist, etc. shall from this moment forth feature only things like brand new food processors for $15, instead of a shoebox full of crumpled up, "gently used" thong underwear for $30 OBO.
Rainbow photo: Meghan Lindquist, Facebook
Sunrise: O.H.M.
