The theme of tonight's episodes is secrets and lies. One is out in the open, one is half-revealed and one turns out not to be a secret at all.
Roy and Cathy bicker about whether or not they should tell Alex the truth about his biological father, and Roy takes him over to the allotment to look at potato blight, for Alex to share rather sweet memories of his "Uncle" Alan and to reveal to Roy that he's always known that Alan was his dad, but he didn't want to upset Cathy by telling her the truth. We find out that Alex is quite capable of lying: he told Gemma his soup injury was caused by rescuing a Staffie from a burning boat, which was about to go up "like a canine cannonball." Whether or not he is lying about going to Inverness to live with his mum is unclear. If it's a gambit, it doesn't pay off as Cathy takes out her anger towards her husband and sister by blaming it on Alex. She claims that if he had told her, she wouldn't have wasted her life on Alan, could've found a better man and be a mother herself. Roy accuses her of being irrational, she calls him an unemotional robot and he says they should spend some time apart. But whatever his parentage, as far as Alex is concerned, it's quite clear that Roy and Cathy are his real parents.
It's Beth's day in court, for which she is wearing her best hairband and leggings. Sinead wishes that she could attend, but it's Kirk whom Beth really wants there with her. After a heartfelt apology, she waits for him at the bus stop, but gets on the Wayfarer alone as he stands there watching her. Later, Craig shows his concern for the outcome of the hearing (£150 and community service) but still refuses to come home.
Alya chews out Sonia for the fling with Sharif, and, after finding out from Aidan that it would be too costly to make her designs by hand and that they would need some additional machinery, she decides to get her some of that free-rang egg money and blackmails her granddad for it. He, meanwhile, has his eye on a fictional flat for Sonia and, after finding out that he can't remortgage the house, goes about getting the money the traditional soap way of transferring it from the business account.
Ironically, Alya might have saved the family Nazir from bankruptcy since we all know that the development isn't really going ahead. Alya at least has the grace to look upset by her machinations, with her granddad at least, when she cuts Sinead out of the deal, promising her, as Aidan did in the previous episode, a desultory bonus, she looks like a stone-cold beyach, or in other words: the new Carla.
More blackmail goes on at the florist's as Asha and Aadi decide they're going to sell flowers outside the corner shop, telling Dev that it's a school project, oh and by the way can they have a note to explain why they haven't done their geography assignment, oh and can we have a kebab for tea? Their plan doesn't make much sense, they love manipulating Dev and insulting Erica, but at the same time, they tell Tracy they'll continue flogging bouquets until Tracy the Hut releases Princess Mary Organa? Given Mary's predilection for singing Edith Piaf whilst tidying the cards ("It's important to have a tidy rack"), I'd've thought Tracy would be desperate to get shot of her assistant. It also doesn't make much sense that Erica is playing Mary's stand-in; can't Dev cook his own children a meal every now and then? We know how much he loves salad cream.
Mary has also made a hit with Andy, who has decided he's going to write a vampire novel and, for some reason, shows it to Aidan. Neither he, Steph, Luke, or Zeedan are particularly impressed by Andy's horror fiction, but Mary thinks he is the next Stephen King.
And finally, a stroppy Michelle organises a meeting with Robert (who seems to have changed his Just For Men colour from Shade of Midnight to Chestnut Fox) about catering for a VIP client's wedding. Robert is unimpressed with said client's request for New Nordic cuisine, but then again is Robert really ever impressed by anything?
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