Now I must start this weeks blog with an apology, an unreserved apology, for not getting to see all my pals on the Sunday Selfies blog hop hosted by the fabulous Kitties Blue.Why you may ask, would this Princess be apologising, and well you might. In fact I shall save everyone the time and tons of emails and letters and just say, we, meaning the Royal WE, which means I, had Computer Tech support issues on account of peep dealing with a family illness, alas this will be ongoing for some months to come. Accordingly there will be a vacancy for live in Tech Support being advertised in Mousing Monthly in the coming.... hmmm.... *rattling of keyboard* minutes.
Worse still, I was assassinated, well very nearly!
What's that peep, ol' pointy headed one, I shouldn't exaggerate! Well I think that is a bit rum, coming from one whose diet weight loss sheet seems to have acquired a "K" in front of the "g". Anyways, I think I shall let our readers decide, after all I tell it as I see it.
Anyways the origin of this tale goes back to peep's child hood, which I hasten to add has nothing to do with baby clothes or gangs, and more to do with growing up. Now I know this is hard to believe, but according to my Kittipedia, it's something that peeps at some point do, though personally in peeps case, I think maybe there is some leeway on the timetable for that, or things have got stuck.
I does wonder if peep would be better as a child, but I really don't want the hassle of any child hood crushes, the angst, swooning, and hours in the shower! I mean I do rather need that shower time myself to host my Olympic warm-up track and field events for the Palace games.
On that matter, I was rather hoping to get a team together to do the four by one hundred relay mouse, to be staged in one of the Palaces velodromes, or bath No. 6 as peeps calls it. Followed by a Triathlon team comprising of our great pal Basil, from the Bionic Basil blog, who is an absolute wizard with all things gun wise, though I suspect we may get barred if we use a heat seeking laser guided munitions or is that mousnitions? Hmm best check on the rules for that, spelling is everything.
Anyways I was thinking maybe Seville, over at Nerissas Life blog, could take the Nip Hunting challenge, as ne'er a fine nose for the nip mouse have I met. As for me, well I thought I might do the.....
What?
Whats that peep?
WHAT!
But as I don't tell tall tales, or in deed short tales....
Whats that peep?
The readers will be asleep you say? I do think, peeps ol' pal, I should just mention I have a copy of your last weight watching record sheet, and I do think I have the the moral fat groun... er.... sorry, the moral high ground, if not some leeway, or is it leverage? purrs
Anyways, before I was interrupted and digressed, I was about to say, that in peeps, ahem, youth, there was propensity to go to yard sales and collect curios and suchlike. As with the way of such things, over time they get thrown out or given away, but this one item, this one silent assassin, secreted itself away and for decades lay as a sleeper, waiting to attack.
Let me tell you I have seen these little guys around in neighbouring villages, looking innocent in the jaunty attire, but a word of warning to the wise, DO NOT trust them!
Why peep was possessed to even take in this character let alone give it safe passage and room and board is beyond me. And then, the shame of it, to keep it quiet from me. We have no secrets from each other, we share the same food, almost, and the same bed, in parts, and definitely the same clothes.
OK when I say clothes I mean peeps wears them and I lay on them, lets face it, there is no way I would be seen wearing those outfits! purrs
But all of this is nothing to the fact that this diminutive devil with a pointy hat, evil grin and a dress sense to worry even a tramp, decided to attack me, whilst I was conducting the monthly stock take of the Palace linen and wool duvet stores.
It is a hard time consuming job, in a manner of speaking, but someone has to do it and as the last time peep got stuck trying to climb in for a nap, I selflessly volunteered to carry on the task.
Anyways, there was I minding my business, when this nefarious interloper and probable Weasel Syndicate spy (the curse of my pal Seville) cum radical insurgent, leaps from the bag in which it had hidden on the very topmost shelf of the laundry cupboard.
Now if it hadn't been for a strange, nay eerie, banshee wail I'd have have not turned to see it plummeting towards yours truly.
EEEEK! pretty much summed it up I can tell you, but in that mouses whisker of a second, I had to admire the kamikaze tactic of this ne'er do well, who, even with a midriff worse than peeps, could manage a fair turn of speed.
I mused, in those nano seconds, that the streamlined pointy hat and the lift given by it's his large pointy ears no doubt played a key role in this, and I found myself wondering if I hadn't now found a potential team member for the Palaces Olympic squad high diving team. purrs
Then, like lightning, I did what any self respecting Princess would do, I jumped.... sideways!
A close call that for sure, but the miscreant had miscalculated the elasticity of both I and the landing area and went head first into the floor with startling lack of grace. Strike this chap from the team list I thought!Anyways, like a Princess, I pounced, and knocked the fiend around and then sat on his tummy, duly contemplating his lack of naval. Now when someone says that a person is all wind, well this guy clearly was, for no sooner than I sat, there was a pop and things went flat.
What's that you say ol' peep? It was only a toy you say? a toy gnome you say!
Well let me tell you this, that there toy gnome was more than a toy, I even found a selfie it had taken, on my desk with MY two favourite mugs! Can you believe the audacity of it? I cant, and I'm the one usually full of audacity, and mice!
So my friends, with assailant duly dispatched to the great fishing pond of assassins, let me leave you with this thought......
........................There's gnome place like home!
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The End *****************
