So there was I, minding my own business when I happens to notice we were out of kindling... Not the small version of the electronic book I hasten to add, but the woody sort of kindling used to make the fires light, and chopsticks for noodles.Why they named wood after something that quite clearly isnt made of wood is beyond me, but hey, I said, what do I, a Princess, amateur algorythmist, and solver of the famous P=NP conundrum know of such things?
Well clearly not as much as some, but I do think those electronic book folks may well wish to sue those wood naming peeps for beech of.... oops sorry, for breach of copyright or something. Mind you, as the old saying goes, if you cant beat them or chase them around the place before you eat them, you may as well join them and have an easy night of it and a long nap!
Whats that ol' gluten free one? plain English you say? Translation you say?
OK, well what I was coming to was, why not make those electronic books out of wood?
I mean books are made of wood, and it is environmentally sustainable and biodegradable. Maybe if you had a sort of sapling living book, it could grow and the book could expand to form a whole collection, like an encyclopedia.
Of course with a living book you'd have to be wary of various insects and nesting creatures. Heck it would be a disaster if just as you reached a climactic bit you found that a lesser spotted woodpecker, re-known for being not spotted very often, had drilled right though and nested just where the killer is revealed. Mouses!And can you imagine all the mess in the libraries if the deciduous books all shed their leaves come autumn! Those poor librarian peeps would be picking Gone with the Wind from everywhere!
And as for the nut situation, well, those squirrels would be a right pain taking bits of books and burying them here and there. And that would lead to no end of cross pollination issues, we could end up with new classics such as War and Two Men in a Boat, or The Tale of Mrs Puddle Duck's Adventures at Hogwarts! Hmm that could work, I wonder if JK's agent is available for a chat?
Anyways, so there was I, minding my own business, as one does, when I happens to notice we were out of kindling. I hasten to add we hadn't run out of wood, no ma'am, and that there wood pile keeps growing and growing when various guests leave us gifts for our fires. In fact just last week I found a pile that looked just like a book case we have, and another that had a striking resemblance to my old bed. Who'd have thought those clever Scandinavian furniture peeps, renown for those natty blue food savers with blue lids, had special trees grown shaped like beds, who knew?
Now where was I? Hmm, oh yes...... I was minding my own business, as one does, when I happens to notice we were out of kindling. Now when I say out, that isn't strictly true, as we do actually have large amounts of kindling in the Great Hall. Sadly, a family of mouses has taken up residence, claimed squatters rights, and taken out a High Court injunction to stop eviction, harassment or otherwise consumption by yours truly. Peeps has also been served with a preservation order on the kindling pile on the grounds that it's a pile of architectural importance by the late Mr Chippendale. Now what two chipmunks have to do with a pile of chopped up furniture is anyones guess, but until the assessors have been in we're stuck with each other. Mouses!
Hmmm. I know I was doing something just now, I wonder what?OK that thought's gone, I best tell you about something really embarrassing that happened last week. Really embarrassing for peep that is, and not me as I don't do embarrassing on account of being a cat, and we always do what we mean and when we mean it. Those video's on the Internet aside, which are actually all staged by professional cat actresses and actors, you will never see a cat doing anything funny. Honestly, I jest you not, when was the last time you saw a cat do stand up? purrs
Anyways I had just seen we were out of kindling.....
Whats that peep?
Cut to the chase you say?
Well if you don't mind me saying, it's me who tells the stories around here, and when I say that I don't mean lies, no ma'am, that just isn't good form and can lead to sprouting noses! Oooh... now there's a grand idea for some kindling....
Peeps ol' fruit, start telling me a story about your weight loss program, and then about your greatest achievements, I think we may just have solved the kindling and mouse housing issue! purrs
~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~
