What do you mean, YOU'VE NOT WON?
I've won I tell you, definitely, as clear as cream is... er... creamy, I'VE WON!
WHAT! what do you mean OH NO I HAVEN'T?
OH YES I HAVE!
What?
Yes I have, yes I have, YES I HAVE!
Look peeps ol' pantomime challenged one, pronounced WON by the way, it says here on this card that I have WON, in fact I've hit the jackpot!
What? WHAT!
NO, Not the BlogPaws Humor award you ol' ninny, that was the lovely, charming Waffles and Katie over at the GLOGIRLY.COM blog. I really must invite them round for tea, nip scones and a slice of cream. purrs
No, what I've won is just the next best thing to Blog Paws Nose to Nose Awards in the Whole Wide World! Ooh, so that's what WWW. stands for. Mouses!
Hmm, OK its actually the next best thing but one, as the next best thing is the famed Golden Double Cream Mines of El Cremedorado! And I can't have won those as they're famed for not only being Double Cream of a wondrous golden colour and eternally unsourable, but also unfindable too. purrs
Actually now I think on it there is also........
****** Some time later ******
........ and of course, lounging around on a warm moonlit night, crickets playing cricket on the village green, a Niptini in one paw and a fresh mouse and cream dip in the other has to come in at number ninety nine. But this is still my next best one hundredth thing...... I've WON!
OK peeps ol' pal, this Princess needs a moment to digest this all...
****** A short nap and a mouse later ******
Oh hello, are you still here? What? Ooops! sorry I was just dreaming about... never mind, you just wouldn't believe what you can achieve with some premium nip, a mad squirrel, some elastic bands and a half pound of best cream fudge. Mouses!
Anyways, I've digested it all, except the pizza of which I only had the one slice, and will refute any claim to the contrary as the surveillance system happened to be turned of, and this Princess is 100% certain I've a cast iron alibi for the time the cream cheese disappeared.... and I can safely say, I WON!What do you mean what?
Peeps, haven't you been listening? I've won, I have won, I'VE WON!
What do you mean won what?
What I mean is, I have won this here card that came with that cream, cheese, and nip pizza you ordered the night Blog Paws Nose to Nose Awards were shown on that internet tube. You know, the Blog Paws you got up at 1am UK time for, the one that actually started at 2am and which you actually dropped off to sleep waiting for at about 1:55am, and then missed! Yup, that Blog Paws!
Well, I at least I was awake, on account of I, ME, having to work nights to bring home the mouse and being the writer of this here blog. Of course I did rather want to see who won Blog Paws too, way better than watching the UK voting to leave the EU and the US presidential elections, where the only lovable furry animals seemed to be hair pieces or were they squirrels? Mouses!
Anyhow, I was just about to conduct a spot check taste test on that pizza, all in the cause of science, home economics and as a spot check for the Ministry of Cream, Cheese, Nip, and Pizzas Excellence, when I espied this little scratch card. Well, I was actually just about to spear my thir... er... first slice when said card just happened to escape the bag peep had brought the pizza in.
Well imagine my surprise, I mean I don't have fleas, as well you know, so it seemed rather presumptive to offer a scratching card service, especially as I don't have opposable thumbs to use it. Mind you, I could always get peeps to do the scratching for me if I had I fleas, not that I do, no ma'am, for starters they wouldn't get past the security guards or the moat.
So, seeing this card trying to escape I did what any self respecting Princess with a pizza to eat... ooops, strike that, what any Princess with an itch to scratch that there scratch card and who doesn't have fleas, would do, I scratched.
Patience may well be a virtue, especially when it come to mice and sparrows, but curiosity got the better of my patience, and within two shakes of mouses tail I had all that stuff off and revealed no end of prizes. OK so it was mainly fruit, but there were vast sums of money underneath too, and a plane, sports car, handbag, train and apparently I'd won the Eiffel Tower and the Colosseum!
Now I hope the French and Roman folks don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't want an extra tower, or a Colosseum as they really would look good on the Palace lawns, not to mention the transportation costs and refurb bill would be horrendous. And there is no way I'm doing overtime to pay for that. Mouses!
Heck, I bet they'd even send some dodgy old stuff which would break one day after the warranty expired, or there would be no spare parts.
Mouses!
On the plus side, they might make a great amusement park attraction, though they would definitely would need a new paint job, Princess Pink would work I think. purrs
So peeps ol' pal, your pecuniary problems are solved, as is the cash flow. What do say you to me having a pay rise and the week off, in between naps of course?
What's that peeps, I haven't won you say? I haven't won on account of not having matched three symbols?
Well that sounds rather daft, maybe a fix, as there aren't any musical instruments on there at all. And as to matching symbols, I got enough types of fruit to make a salad. Don't I get anything for that? I mean a mouse at least, surely?
Not even a mouse? Mouses!
OK this calls for a strongly worded letter, on which point, why is it called a letter? I mean there is more than one letter in a letter, although the letter A is one letter. Mouses, this is confusing, way better this gets sorted out now, and there's bound to be a government department that deals with such things, I mean there are loads in Brussels that do nothing but make rules about nothing.... or is it something out of nothing?
Hmm, maybe we could change it so the whole collection of letters and words could be called a mouse? That way I could be called a Princess of mouses, which from my point of view would be right on both counts! purrs
Peeps, hand me the phone, I'm going to get hold of that nice German lady, Mrs Merkel, in charge of Europe, she'll sort it out. And even if she charges me, I can always off loa.... er... give her the Eiffel Tower and the Colosseum I won, I'll even through in some tins of my Princess Pink paint, that will cheer her up. And if she'll get it done by the end of the week I'll throw in some of the two year old Canadian Cheddar and some nip as a bonus... I mean who could resist that?
What's that peep, ol' portly one? we've run out of what?
WHAT?
NO!
What do you mean, OH YES WE HAVE?
OK peeps, I have a plan, break out the clown suit, and funny nose, were in the funfair business!
