Day in and day out I watch the fields go under water and the moat fill up. If it gets much higher the Kraken will be able to collect the mail herself and supper too.... OK so they amount to the same thing but that's not the point as she is supposed to be on a diet of ad lib snacks. It all seemed to have gone wrong when I said she could mail order in her food..... who knew a Kraken could be so literal and a lady of letters.... need I say more! purrs
Anyways I was rather looking forward to a dry spell as the Palace gardens just don't seem the same when you have to do the rounds via a pair of binoculars, everything is so small! And as for the refugee crisis, it's becoming a crisis in itself as we seem to have run out of refugees! I mean I do like to think I can help out in an emergency, and with the Palace having so many Nooks and Crannies available, that's the sister magazine to Mouse and Mouse hole by the way, and not a mouse left in sight to invite for lunch!
Nothing else for it but to fluff up the fur and head on down to the hedge and see whats on the menu... er... what signs of trespassers I can detect for lunch, otherwise I'll have to order in, and peeps gets really annoyed if I boss the chef around.....
****** A short time and much rain later! ******
Well that does it for me, Peeps I need a Sunbed! No ifs or buts I want one ASAP, and make sure the flex will stretch around the estate so I can dry up those fields too.... seems like that's the only way this Princess will see anything dry!
WHAT! what do you mean it's artificial sun, and they don't come that big? Well I hate to break it to you, ol' solar challenged one, but the clue is in the name, and I don't mean bed! I'll have you know I have studied that there sun and from what I can see it's just the right size, and one small truck, a set of ladders, some scaffolding, and some string and I'm pretty sure we can get it set up just as we need it.... Oh and make sure you get it plugged in over night so we can use it on the cheap rate electricity!
****** Two days later ******
PEEEEPS!
Ah. there you are, I really must complain about the heat. Have you seen whats happening outside? Well I can tell you it's not pretty, no ma'am, there's peeps fainting everywhere, going all pale and lying down all around the estate with barely any clothes on!I wouldn't be too concerned but it has quite put the Kraken off her duties, and I've barely seen a mouse all day, and it IS coming up to lunch time. Which is another thing, and sort of the thing I came about but got distracted from, so I suspect it really is the same point? Hmm OK, so the point is peeps, ol' red faced one, this heat, I don't recall asking for the temp to be set so high!
Did you set the thermostat to Centigrade rather than Fahrenheit, cos it sure does feel like I could roast a chicken out there... Hmm maybe I could invite my pal Bear Cat round, he's a great one for Whole Roasted Chicken! Mind you I think he'll have to bring his own chickens as ours do seem to have flown the coop maybe as a result of a coop de tat... Well I did think it was a bad idea to get one of those cheap imported hen houses. purrs
Anyways I am completely bushed, in fact I was so long under that there bush in search of a shady drafty spot that I think I may have acquired a patch of black spot and I think a family of greenfly seem to have moved into my tail. Mouses!
Well I cant stand here wilting, I think I know a way to boost my water fountain to give a rather nice shower.
****** Later, that evening ******
Ummm peeps ol pal, could you send something up for me to eat, I really don't feel up to moving. And best not make it anything hot, maybe just some cream and an ice pack, and some more ice for my Niptini, and maybe another ice pack. purrs
****** Much later that evening ******
Peeeps, any chance you could turn that fan so it points this way a bit more, and if you could maybe go a bit faster? In fact peddle like a cyclist being pursued by a drug testing squad if you have to, as I could sure do with something a bit more than the breeze I'm getting, and I'm too weak to do it myself, it's this coat you see, no zipper.****** Very Early next morning! ******
Psst... PSST.... PSSSSSSSSSSSST! Peeps? Are you awake yet? I think the heating has come on early, and there seems to be a problem with this air con thing as it isn't letting out any cold air, and quite frankly a con!
What?
What do you mean "Its a radio!" I thought it was an air con unit, I mean you're always saying how much hot air comes out of it!
****** Slightly less early the same morning ******
Peeps......, Peeps, are you awake? You look awake and I'm fairly certain you should be awake on account of me being awake. Look there's no point you pretending as I've just checked for a pulse on your nose with my claw and I know you're just feigning snoring. Ah-ha, there you are, now look this is important so pay attention, right? OK. I think I may have forgotten to turn back down the water pressure on my shower.... er sorry... the water fountain, and unless I'm not mistaken I think I can hear a cloud burst going on down stairs, so you may need a mop....... and your wellies...... and an umbrella. purrs
****** Dawn ******
Peeeeeps, Peeeeeeeeps...... any chance you could phone work and say I wont be in today, I do feel terrible, and really don't think I can cope with another day at the office without air con. Did I mention I feel terribly under the weather? I did? well just checking, heat delusions you know, just can't be too careful in this torrid heat, too hot to even chase that mouse that just went under the bed.
As to that mouse, I think there may have been two, so if you could put some cheese out for them, that will tide them over till.... well, if I die here, from this heat they will be here for ever, with their great great great grand kids, well that is in the first month at least. purrs
OH, as you're up, could you go check on the Kraken, she may need a top up in the moat and some sun cream applying before it gets too hot. And make sure you get into each of the tentacles, nothing worse than a sun burnt tentacle. purrs
It is definitely too hot to do anything, this must be the end of the world, in fact I feel my life force just ebbing away as we speak. I shall just lay here and wait, and wither, like a summer rose, beauty and perfume spent, its petals slowly dropping to the floor to be blown away on the winds of Autumn....
Talking of wind, peeps, was that you just now, I felt distinct cold breeze, and why's it gone dark again.... is it mean't to rain at the end of days?
Yikes! do you see the size of that rain drop, about the size of a tennis ball, and that was lightning I think.... Yup, that was lightning, can always tell as the washing line glows and the laundry gets a distinct singed look on the edges.
In fact it shows the mouse holes up nicely too....Peeps, I feel strangely invigorated, and the sudden urge to go and sort a few things out, and make sure the tenants are all OK, and check for leaks. Oh, I do hope you didn't give that pair of mouses, that you let in to the Palace, my best three year old Canadian Mature Cheddar, heck if you keep doing that word will get out and we will be inundated with unwanted dinners.... er.... sorry diners!
Hmm, OK so maybe I can make this work, for charity of course. I could just use some of the standard Cheddar and do sandwiches, a sort of fast food take away, without the take away bit, nor the bread bit too, that just clogs up the teeth.
Peeps? why you brandishing that mouse trap catalogue, and frying pan? and there really is no need to look so worried, that's what I'm here to do, catch mice that is, not look worried. Heck relax, you'll never see me getting all whimpy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~