Boulder, CO--whose theme song could be "Whiter Shade of Pale" based on the racial and ethnic diversity index--definitely has a uniform, and from what I can tell, this is it:
Women: Skort made from some sort of hi-tech "performance" fabric; racer-back tank top made from the same material; long, straight high ponytail; ankle socks with sneakers OR Tevas/Chacos; total full-body tan and 0% body fat; big dog on a leash. Alternatively, you can be a hippie with the same basic stuff noted above but in a long dress with a nose ring and dreadlocks.
Men: "Manpri" Capri pants; form-fitting T-shirt that says something like "Rocky Mountain 100K," making it clear that the wearer ran or biked an obscene distance one time and probably all the time; Tevas; designer sunglasses on a rubber necklace; trucker hat; full body tan and 0% body fat; dog on a leash. Alternatively, you can be a hippie and in all the same stuff mentioned above except also with earring plugs and dreadlocks.
Me: Mom shorts AND Mom sandals. Hand-me-down T-shirt from a friend who is both younger and thinner than me. Alaska/lazy ghostly white pallor and terrible eczema; not 0% body fat.
I won't lie: This place is KINDA bad for my self esteem. It's like a black hole of self-hatred with a lot of upscale organic supermarkets and cars with kayaks and bikes strapped to the top for good measure. You know, just in case I didn't hate myself enough after the skort and racer-back tank top.
