As people around the world commemorate the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare's death, we take a look at Philip Terry's tribute to the bard, Shakespeare's Sonnets, and the bits that didn't make the final cut.
#Shakespeare400
@S400events
1
The poet urges his friend to preserve
His exceptional beauty for future
Generations by begetting children.
Do you think he should beget children?
Or do you think he should persevere
In the single life? In the first case,
Proceed to 6. In the second case,
Proceed to 2.
2
The poet urges his friend to reconsider.
When he has lost his beauty he can
Guard against reproach by pointing to
His offspring in whom it is renewed.
Do you think he should reconsider?
Or do you think he should ignore
The poet? In the first case, proceed to 6.
In the second case, proceed to 3.
3
The young man is made melancholy
By hearing music. The poet argues
This is because harmony and
Concord prompts him to confront
His obligation to marry and beget
Children. If you think the young
Man should confront his obligations,
Go to 6. If not, proceed to 4.
4
Appealing to the young man’s vanity,
The poet argues that unless he begets
Children he will grow old and die. If he
Begets children his beauty will live
Perpetually in his offspring.
Do you think the young man should give
In to the poet’s arguments, or
Continue to ignore him? In the first case,
Go to 6. Otherwise, proceed to 5.
5
The young man perseveres in the solitary
Life, grows old and dies. The poet consoles
Himself with the thought that the youth will
Live on in his verse.
If you have chosen this alternative,
You have reached the end
6
The friend agrees to beget children, and
Begins his courtship. Do you think he should
Pursue a lady of rank? Or somebody else?
In the first case, proceed to 7.
In the second case, go to 8.
7
The young man meets Lady M_____, a great beauty,
And marries. Do you think they should beget
Children? Or not? In the first case, proceed to 10.
In the latter case, proceed to 11.
8
The young man absconds with the poet’s mistress,
Begetting a bastard son. Should the poet
Forgive him? Or not? In the first case, proceed
To 9. In the second case, go to 13.
9
The poet forgives the young man, consoling
Himself with the thought that his friend’s choice
Of lover is a tribute to him. Should the poet
Take another mistress? Or return to his wife?
In the first case, proceed to 15.
In the latter case, go to 16.
10
Lady M_____ gives birth to twin boys,
William and John, but dies in childbirth.
The young man is stricken with grief,
But devotes himself to raising his sons.
If you have chosen this alternative,
You have reached the end.
11
The young man’s marriage to Lady M_____
Proves barren. Do you think they should
Honour their marriage vows? Or annul
The marriage? In the first case, proceed
To 12. In the second case, go to 14.
12
The young man and Lady M_____ live
Together happily without children,
Establishing a charitable
Institution for the care of orphans.
If this is your choice, you have
Reached the end.
13
The poet, disgusted at the young man’s
Behaviour, tears up his sonnets and
Returns to playwriting.
If this is your choice, the
Sonnets have reached their end.
14
The young man annuls the marriage, and
Returns to the poet, saying that true
Happiness is only to be found in
The companionship of friends.
If this ending suits you, go to 20.
If not, proceed to 24.
15
The poet consoles himself in the arms
Of a prostitute, the Dark Lady, swearing
That black is the new fair, but he is
Troubled by thoughts of a jealous nature.
Do you think his suspicions are justified?
Or not? In the first instance, go to 17.
In the latter case, proceed to 18.
16
The poet returns to his wife in Stratford,
Turning his back on the young man for good.
If this is your choice, the
Sequence has ended.
17
The poet returns to his chambers to
Find the Dark Lady in bed with three men,
One of whom is the young man.
Should the poet turn his back on the Dark
Lady? Or join in? In the first case, go to
19. In the latter case, go to 21.
18
The Dark Lady is not as innocent
As you think. If you wish to know why,
Go to 17. If not, proceed to 20.
19
The poet leaves the Dark Lady to get
On with her business, and writes a series
Of vituperative sonnets. But he is still
In love with her, and resigns himself to
The facts: he is enamoured of a whore.
If this is your choice, the
Sonnets have reached their conclusion.
20
The poet puts his head in the noose, but
The thought of the young man holds
Him back. Do you think he should
Return to the young man? Carry on
With the business in hand? In the
First case, proceed to 26. In the
Latter case, proceed to 27.
21
The poet gets into bed with the Dark
Lady and her three companions,
Making love through the night.
Does the poet enjoy the experience?
Or regret it? In the first case, go to
22. In the latter, to 23.
22
The poet finds the experience of
Sleeping with the Dark Lady and
The young man (not to mention
The other two men) liberating,
But contracts syphilis as a result.
If this is your choice, then you
Have reached the end.
23
Tired with the world’s debauchery the
Poet’s thoughts turn to suicide. Do you
Think he should follow thought with
Action? Or adopt some other course?
In the first instance, go to 20.
In the second case, go to 25.
24
Tiring of the poet’s company, the
Young man joins Essex’s ill-fated
Expedition to Ireland, where he is
Killed in the siege of Kilkenny.
If this is your choice, the sonnets
Have reached their conclusion.
25
Sublimating his suicidal thoughts,
The poet returns to playwriting,
And writes Hamlet.
If this is your choice, the work
Has ended.
26
The poet returns to the young man,
Confessing his undying love in a
Flurry of sonnets. Should the young
Man thank him? Or not? In the
First case, go to 28. In the second
Case, proceed to 29.
27
In this case, the sonnets have
Reached their conclusion.
28
The young man thanks him, confessing
That his love for the poet is the only
One that matters to him. They kiss.
If this ending satisfies you, proceed
To 27. If not, go to 31.
29
The young man tells the poet that his
Sonnets are wearing thin. Besides,
They aren’t nearly as good as the
Poems written in his honour by J____.
Would you like to know the identity
Of J____? Or not? In the first case,
Proceed to 30. In the latter case, go
To 27.
30
The identity of J____ cannot be disclosed.
If this is your choice, then you have
Reached the end.
31
At the very moment of achieving
The object of his desire, the poet
Loses interest, and runs off with
Another woman.
If this is your choice, the sonnets
Have reached their conclusion.
This sequence appeared in a small volume Oulipoems 2 (Toronto: Ahadada, 2009).
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