I love the challenge of sober living. It is the ultimate challenge - never ever escaping from any tough or uncomfortable emotion. Stress comes, so does anger and sadness and disappointment and frustration (etc etc).. but I deal with it now - it's there for a reason! - and then it passes.
I don't have a knee-jerk reaction to reach for something to make it go away. I am much, much, much better now at letting those emotions be and then letting them pass by. I just AM stressed and then I'm not.
Sometimes I do get really stressed!! For goodness sake I have 3 young boys who are noisy and demanding and argumentative (and gorgeous of course!) and they can really push me to the limit at times. I also have a busy job and a house and husband and PUPPY to look after... so of course I get stressed.
I'm also a 44-year-old woman with complex emotions and a busy brain.. but now I live connected to myself in ways that I have never been ever before in my life. I am much more firmly rooted in my body and on the earth that holds me up.
I know how to focus on my breath and the sensations in my body to bring me out of my mind and down into the present moment. I know how to do this because I have worked on it since I got sober.
I wouldn't be like this if I was still drinking daily. I wouldn't be like this if I was still drunk all the time.
I wouldn't have such a healthy relationship with my thoughts (in that I don't believe them as facts or let them control me) if I was still blurring my brain with alcohol daily like I used to. I'd have messed up body chemistry and unfocused thoughts.
I know I've said it before and I'm sorry that I'm being repetitive and that this is a waffly post but I need to say this because I feel it so keenly right now.
I am so utterly completely profoundly grateful to be sober.
Love, Mrs D xxx