Anyhoo, I'm talking about those things in Alaska that are rare. So rare, that they can only be referred to as unicorns.
Alaskan Unicorns.
Here they are:
1. Someone in the Lower-48 who meets you for the first time and doesn't ask you about Sarah Palin, Russia, and/or igloos.
2. An empty table at Snow City Cafe at 10:00 a.m. on a Sunday in June.
3. A trip from Juneau to the east coast in winter with no weather delays or "mechanicals."
4. Turnagain Arm devoid of RV traffic on July 4 weekend.
5. A female legislative aide age 20-35 wearing sensible shoes.
6. Waiting at the gate in SEA/TAC and not seeing at least one person you recognize.
7. An event featuring food that isn't also a potluck.
8. Standing in a room of 30 professionals not one of whom is a lawyer or works for an environmental nonprofit.
9. A person with (an obviously gigantic) penis driving something other than a souped-up Ford, Chevy, or Toyota truck.
10. #9 who's never gotten a DUI.
11. Sixteen inches of fresh powder overnight followed by a bluebird morning in Juneau.
12. The aurora actually coming out when someone's visiting who has never seen it before.
BONUS UNICORN: Functionally sober, gainfully employed romantic prospect whom no one you know has dated already.
