They'd be putting your kids to bed like ...
HUSH NOW DON'T YOU CRY!!
WIPE AWAY THE TEARDROP FROM YOUR EYE
YOU'RE LYING SAFE IN BED
IT WAS ALL A BAD DREAM
SPINNING IN YOUR HEAD
I--WILL BE LYING NEXT YOU YOU
I--AM GONNA HELP TO SEE IT THROUGH
I--WILL PROTECT YOU IN THE NIGHT
I--AM SMILING NEXT TO YOU...
IN SILENT LUCIDITYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
IF YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOR ME, I WILL LET YOU WATCH A NETFLIX ON TV ...
And so on.
That's not creepy at all! They only charge $40 an hour and you don't even have to drive them home. And, bonus: they will also play your kid's birthday and do magic tricks with their catchy Dungeons & Dragons-inspired art-metal tunes and lustrous, flowing hair.
IF YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOR ME, I WILL LET YOU WATCH A NETFLIX ON TV ...
And so on.
That's not creepy at all! They only charge $40 an hour and you don't even have to drive them home. And, bonus: they will also play your kid's birthday and do magic tricks with their catchy Dungeons & Dragons-inspired art-metal tunes and lustrous, flowing hair.