There's a lot of parenting advice out there, and I ignore most of it. Not because I think it's bad, necessarily, or that it might be ineffective. It’s just that I don’t really care if my kids get into a great college; or if they're the star of a sports team; of if they get awesome grades; or if they make a lot of money; or if they always eat all the right foods; or if they get the right number of hours of sleep each night; or if they finish every last scrap of homework; or if they can play a cello concerto.
But when I read between the lines of most parenting advice, that’s what I see. Even when it's pretending to be something else. Really, I could use a different kind of parenting advice. Something that helps my kids hear this, more or less:
But when I read between the lines of most parenting advice, that’s what I see. Even when it's pretending to be something else. Really, I could use a different kind of parenting advice. Something that helps my kids hear this, more or less:
Come on now, don't be that fucking person:
- Who never returns a phone call
- Who runs away from hard conversations
- Who drives on the shoulder and cuts into traffic
- Who’s never on time
- Who flakes on their friends
- Who shirks their obligations
- Who breaks their promises
- Who’s always looking for a short cut
- Who forgets people’s birthdays
- Who acts entitled
- Who makes snap judgments
- Who gossips
- Who can’t be depended on for anything
- Who is self-destructive
- Who treats people badly out of their own insecurity
- Who lacks empathy
- Who’s always looking out for number one.
Seriously, please just be someone:
- Who cleans up after themselves and sometimes others
- Who stops to push someone’s car out of the snow
- Who’s there for their friends when it matters
- Who is responsive
- Who asks someone "how are you" and waits for the real answer
- Who respects differing points of view
- Who treats themselves well
- Who helps people when they don’t ask for it
- Who works hard
- Who strives for self-sufficiency in every sense of the word
- Who can hold another person’s secrets in confidence
- Who can offer someone a helpful insight every once in awhile
- Who can be happy for someone else even when things aren't going well for them
- Who sticks up for causes and people that need it.
Thanks!
