Ten Things I Swore I Would Never Say to My Kids, But Already Have inthe Past 24 Hours Alone

1. "The car is not a toy!"

2. "Knock it off back there!"

3. "Watch your fresh mouth!"

4. "Excuse me. You're not in charge here!"

5. "Don't talk to your mother/father/brother/sister in that tone of voice!"

6. "TV rots your brain."

7. "You can't just eat bread and butter and sugar! You need vegetables and protein."

8. "Is that where we keep our clothes/dishes/toys?"

9. "Your hair is a rat's nest."

10. "Why? Because I said so!"

And yet, everyone looks so perpetually happy and well-behaved here. Lies, I tell you. All of it LIES!!