I need help.I dont know if am ok.I want to shed light on what happened to me.Someone out there might just be of help.I feel betrayed and used.I cant believe at this age I will allow someone to manipulate, use and dump me.
Have known this girl called A.. for 5- 6yrs,but we were not friends, until another friend brought her to me when she had accommodation problem 2012.from then we became friends.she was onto me all of a sudden.I realized she is from my place Edo state.
She started calling me sister.The way this girl earned my trust and won my heart like a true sister,I started picking fault with my old friends.She will tell me "I want the best for you,you know you are my sister.One day she came to meet me that there is this guy she wants to introduce to me, because then I was having issues with my boyfriend of 6 years.She said that this guy is God fearing,responsible etc....She said that she knows this guy while they were in Unilag.We started dating.
I now realized this guy in question was not my kind of guy.twice I tried breaking up with the guy, my girlfriend will sweet talk me saying i dont know what i have,that I cant judge a book by the cover,I should be patient.This guy in question drinks,goes to club every friday,saturday,sundays. She started comparing my ex to this new guy at the end I settled for the new guy.to the extend the mother of my ex called from the states to unite us together ignored her saying I have moved on.
To cut the story short,later I resigned from my work and went to South Africa for a course .on getting there i realized i was pregnant for this new guy.
To cut the story short,later I resigned from my work and went to South Africa for a course .on getting there i realized i was pregnant for this new guy.
That was when my problem started.the guy wanted abortion, threatened me,that the baby will die,that the baby is a bastard,he will not bear his name,that he doesn't want the baby from me etc.The guy and my friend abandoned me like a piece of trash,the girl became my enemy over night.
Both of them moved on with there lives,having fun going to clubs popping champagne.while I got stranded in S.A ,lost d little job I got there because of the pregnancy.I couldn't cope any longer. I had to extend my course and come back to nigeria,broke. Everything in my life stopped,no helper,nobody.
All the men i was doing shakara for were sending back to the person that impregnated me. I suffered.My mom is late nobody to tell me what to do.I just sleep and wake up.I started antenatal late. 9months came time for the baby,the boy came out,was in distress. They injured him on the nose while they were trying to bring him out.they started beating him that they want him to cry for long.he will cry and stop,they continue beating him.
He was crying like someone that was tired.Later they decided to take him to general hospital for oxygen,before they got there he gave up.I was devastated, the boy suffered.he wanted to live he was struggling.I didn't show him love while i was pregnant. All was thinking for him to get out of my stomach.The same day someone saw my friend and the guy in club popping champagne.
All this happened 27th of may children day.Till now,i cant get the baby's face and his cry out of my head.Hairy,chubby,adorable boy.when they brought the baby to me his hair fell on his face.I see him in my dreams,i nurture him,i take care of him in my dreams.is as if am living another life.Have gone to mfm for prayers,still yet no change.I feel bad when i see pregnant women and new born babies I cant carry them.It's like a phobia to me now.
And now my ex just got married this september. I lost my job,i lost my school,i lost the baby,i lost my relationship.
All this happened 27th of may children day.Till now,i cant get the baby's face and his cry out of my head.Hairy,chubby,adorable boy.when they brought the baby to me his hair fell on his face.I see him in my dreams,i nurture him,i take care of him in my dreams.is as if am living another life.Have gone to mfm for prayers,still yet no change.I feel bad when i see pregnant women and new born babies I cant carry them.It's like a phobia to me now.
And now my ex just got married this september. I lost my job,i lost my school,i lost the baby,i lost my relationship.
Now both of them came to ask for forgiveness.I tried to forgive them.but I still feel bitter.she cost me alot in the expense of her pleasure.I almost died in the process.now am starting afresh.She is enjoying life.she called me all sort of names.That I am a victim,am not smart.they said am foolish truly I am.I blame myself everyday.
I want to be free from this hurt..God help me.