3 years gone and I LOVE you even more.
You gave me life,Gave me unfathomable Love,
Taught me all I know..
I never thought I would survive without you.
This medium via which I pen down my thoughts...
was born out of the pain of losing you..
Never thought I would live to not watch you enjoy the fruits of your labour..
Never thought I would not send you cheques every month end
Never thought I won't buy you nice things..
But all the silver and gold in the world,
is eclipsed by the beauty and tranquillity of the place you now call home.
..HEAVEN ...
I smile when I think of you..
The memories of you waking us up at night...
forcing us to eat roasted meat which you never failed to buy..
I think of your tear-filled eyes..
the first time I left Jos to school in Cameroon..
I think of the day you saved 13 Hausa men from being killed during the Jos Crises..
You single-handedly hid them in an empty ..room at the expense of your life
I think of you chasing thieves, shouting "bring my gun, bring my gun"
If only they knew you had no gun..
I think of you toiling in the farm after work each day..
If for nothing,you said it kept you strong
I think of you forcing us to give strangers food
Even when we were ashamed and said the food wasn't nice enough
You would say"You don't know if they haven't eaten"
I think of all the thousands of students who passed through your tutorship & mentorship
I think of how they would flood the house during their break period and once again,
you would force us to give them food...
You said "common stop joking,where did you steal this from"
Then you looked into my eyes and realised I was serious
Without saying a word, you went into your room and locked it..
I was scared I offended you.I tiptoed to your room to eaves drop,I heard you sob quietly
They were tears of JOY.Your daughter would some day be a writer..
The same path you choose...
I think of how you forced everyone to read articles I wrote..
They would later tell me many avoided visiting because they were forced to read my work for hours..lol
How proud you were!
I think of the day some people made an expensive April Fool joke
They said Anyi your 2nd daughter had fallen in a well
You ran head first to jump in and they shouted April Fool
You wept so much it broke my heart..
Oh yes! I think of painful sacrifices you made, to help get rid of juvenile mistakes I made..
I think of you telling God to take you than put you through the pain of burying any of your children..
I think of those years you were left heartbroken by the woman you loved
Yet you held us down,never put any above your kids
even in your tears,pain and people calling you a mad man
You were sane enough to cook , wash our clothes
and tell us folk-tales
dance with us through the night
And those days, you grew so lean because the pain was too much to bear
Yet you never let us see your weakness(you never knew we did)
and we were too young to cater for you
So you would go to work with wet clothes
because we forgot to wash them ,after we left them soaked in water..
I think of you saying you were the most handsome and intelligent man of your time..lol
Then I think of your last day on earth, you worked so hard,planted flowers..
And you prayed..
Oh yes, you woke everyone up,chastising them for not praying before they slept..
Unknown to you, you had an hour more on earth...
Your last message to me was to tell my sister to use some money you sent for her fees, to help someone..
You promised to return the money to her the next day. .
You didn't live to see the next day ...
But we did as you said because what a way to go..Touching the life of someone in need..
Forgive me for the times I try to block memories of you,
Forgive me for those days I act like I've forgotten you..
And those rare days I don't pray for you
I do that to block out the pain for just a second..
Forgive me for those times, I do things you would never have approved
Like the red nails and painted lips.
You would always say"You are beautiful without that rubbish"
Lol It's fashion now daddy.....
I thank God for the day I came into your life..
I thank God for the most loving siblings you blessed me with...
If I was to do it all over again,
If I were to choose my Daddy again..
I would choose you without batting an eyelid..
Because of you, I believe..
.I work so hard ..
I can't thank GOD enough for blessing me with a FATHER like you.
Forgive those who don't understand my love for you..
Those who say it's unhealthy,toxic..those who say I need help..
They haven't felt Love..They don't know our story..They don't know about us..
They don't know about the memories...memories a lifetime won't be sufficient to recount ...
Straight from my heart...
Emeh Achanga...