Dear George,
I have two human pets, both female, one middle aged and one young and still a bit kittenish. She's the problem. She's got a cat games addiction. All she does is dress and care for online comic cutie cats. Once she used to play with me using bits of string and also brush me gently. Now she is always looking at a rectangular device which plays these cat games with moving pictures (very poor ones in my opinion though she likes them) of felines. I can't get her to stop playing with this and go back to playing with me. I have tried sitting on the tablet or just interfering with it but she brushes me off.
Yours in despair
Pinkle Purr
Dear Pinkle,
This is games addiction when the human stops concentrating on us (the proper way for a human pet to behave) and starts getting obsessed with something on a tablet or a computer (the square screen stuff). Mine had a very bad period when all she would do is play Hitler parodies and scream with ridiculous laughter. I blame the soft website catsthatlooklikehitler for starting her down the path that led to hard Hitler parodies. My human has admitted her problem and is now in recovery, thank goodness,
Your human has a similar addiction and what is needed is tough love. Most cats respond to this problem by trying to stop the play. They will interpose their body between the human gaze and the screen, tap the keyboard (if there is one) with a purr, lie on the keyboard, or just pester the human at leg height. These tactics will result in pleasurable petting by the non-addicted human but are useless with addicts.
You must look after your own interests, Pinkle. Withdraw all attention and love while this young human is indulging her addiction. Give her the silent body language treatment. Sit with your back to her, with a lofty look of disdainful non-interest. Go out and get mousing. Or just find something else to do.
This is a human problem. You did not cause it, cannot control it and cannot cure it. Once you accept this you can get on with your own life. Remember you don't need humans: they need you though they may not realise this.
Yours sadly,
George
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