I have been given two expensive cat toys by my human. One was an elaborate feeding device where I had to claw out bits of cat food. I have refused to do this. The other was a very large furry thing in wheels, which could be wound up by my human and set off across the carpet. It is the size of a guinea pig and makes whirring noise which I dislike intensely. So I have ignored that too.
Instead I found my own toy - a feather that some unlikely bird had deposited in the garden. I have been rolling around with it for about an hours. I think it has really irritated her.
Yours Toby.
Dear Toby,
Congratulations on a good human tease. One of the many cat rules, which help cats rule, is to ignore all new purrchases. Especially any expensive ones. A new cat bed - go straight to a heap of freshly washed sheets and sleep there instead. A new toy - look at it once then stroll away. A lovely new soft bit of cat bedding - refuse to sit on it.
Instead make your own toy. We cats can make a toy of everything - a piece of dried pasta on the floor, a broad bean, the top of a milk container, an empty pill box. These can be batted around a kitchen floor ad infinitum.
Then there are these - your human's shoe laces while she is wearing them, the blind toggle hanging down on the side of the window, the dressing gown belt hanging from the back of the door, the bit of paper hanging loose from the scratched wall paper, the ties that tie up the loose covers of the furniture.... I expect cats reading this can suggest some more.
Money can't buy the purrfect cat toy. The purrfect cat toy is one chosen by us. Puts the humans in their place and makes them try harder to please us.
Yours
George.
