April 4, 2013

White Dog tried to cheer me up. Each pup added a word of encouragement or wisdom as we talked about my unease over Nuka's return to not eating. For the second day we have had to backtrack to Ensure and baby food syringe feeding...and today she even struggled against that. She is still drinking water and walking about, but when I lifted her up this morning I felt ribs and loose skin. She is losing weight on a frame that was pretty spot on perfectly balanced before the pancreatitis hit.

"You HAVE to eat, Little Girl," I pleaded as she struggled and batted at me during the force feeding. "Your eyes do not tell me you are ready to give up. Your wagging and interaction do not say 'I am ready to leave you.' Why won't you eat?"

To be fair, she does willingly take and eat the vanilla yogurt cookies and now the mint flavored dog treats...at least a few before turning away. They do not serve as an incentive for "real" eating, however. "Come on, if you eat a spoon of dog food, you can have a treat!" When faced with that offer she simply walks away.

Tomorrow we see Dr. Julia and do blood work. What I thought would be a march of triumph will be a worried scuttle filled with fear.  Steve and the WDA tell me to be patient and accept that there will be ups and downs. They are confident that this is just a hard hitting attack that is taking some time for Another White Dog to beat. I hope they are right and believe my wiggy-waggy girl is a fighter but there is still that little voice that says "what if it is..."