What is it with Coronation Street these days? Not content with giving us a watchable, well thought through plots featuring talented actors, they have to drain every last drop of believability and wring every last moment of drama out of any given situation. I speak of course about the ongoing Tyrone and Kirsty saga. What started out as a wonderful storyline highlighting the issue of domestic violence has now drifted somewhat off message with kidnappings and love trysts getting in the way of the original tale.
Now of course we have the repetition of a once well-loved and trusted neighbour and friend being accused, tarnished and criminalised by all. We have seen this countless times before: Deirdre, Gail, Fiz, Carla... even Rita was accused when she caught Chesney shoplifting. Tyrone is the latest character to don the yellow prison tabard and face a drawn out, boring court case.
So, with this in mind I set off on a day dream imagining what I would do with the current crop of Coronation Street storylines should I find myself in the storyliners' hot seat.
Let's start off with Tyrone and Kirsty. Of course I want Kirsty to be found out, but rather than see her burst into flames or jump off the viaduct, I'd like her to exit seeking therapy and help. Personally I would love to see characters like Eileen, Sally and Julie get their comeuppance! I think they all need a taste of their own medicine. And I would love to see Tyrone and Fiz settle down with their babies. I think they make a lovely couple and do deserve some happiness. Next, The Rovers Fire. I have come round to this idea as the pub does need updating. If two characters are to die, please let them be Sean and Karl. I lost patience with and all interest in Sean long ago and I think his character is very stale. So send him off. And as for Karl - he was promising on arrival but the Sunita affair debacle has weakened him beyond repair. Following the fire, I would install Sally as owner of the Rovers.
I think Stella really does need to leave. I wouldn't have her die in the Rovers fire though. I think we need a visit from Janice Battersby to see Stella off. Janice will always be Leanne's mum as far as I'm concerned. I would love to see Janice and Stella fight it out on the cobbles. St Ella of the Back Room would not stand a chance!As for Sunita's departure, well I wouldn't kill her off. I loved her character before the powers that be turned her into the cheating emotional wreck we have witnessed over the past year. I think she deserves a dignified exit. I would send her off a reformed character, along with husband Dev (who, like most of the produce in the Corner Shop, has outlived his shelf life) and her children Aldi and Netto. I would love to see Dev's cousin Nita Desai return as a successful business woman and take over Dev's mini-empire.
Let's turn now to the story featuring the arrival of Faye's dad, Tim Metcalfe. I blogged last week that I was a fan of this character but questioned whether he was working for good and not for evil. If I had my way I would opt for a refreshing change and make him a nice character. That family already has a villain in Owen Armstrong. I would love Anna to ditch Owen and take up with Faye's real dad. If this also meant Joe Duttine stayed around for a longer stint, all the better.
Ah, the budding romance between Jenna and Sophie. I'm sorry Mr Producer, this still doesn't work for me. I do like Jenna and think she has terrific potential, but Sophie has gone right off the boil. As characters they are just not suited at all. I would love Jenna to go back and study to retrain as something else, not wasting that education mum Mandy is always banging on about. I don't have an issue with her being a lesbian - why not have her begin a relationship with someone she meets through her studies? I just think Sophie will drag her down. We need a smart, intelligent, educated woman on the street and Jenna is our best bet.
As for Nick and Leanne: it doesn't work, he's far too good for her. Split them up.
And finally, you'll notice I haven't mentioned the storylines involving Tracy and Rob and Katy and Ryan. There is very good reason for this. I don't care! If I was in charge, they'd all be in Street Cars out of Weatherfield long before any ginnel-based snogging action took place.
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