Riding Route 84

Our first born attended Boston College.  To get there from NJ, we would always drive over the Hudson River up into Connecticut on Route 84.  Through the pretty countryside of Connecticut.  And it is pretty, rolling green hills, winding through.  We would go through Danbury, Waterbury, Hartford and yes Newtown and we would always see the sign for Sandy Hook.  We would pass without much thought but would always note it.

Sandy Hook would remind us of home, for there is a famous Sandy Hook in New Jersey.  Our children were always precious to us, they still are.  The children of Sandy Hook Elementary School will forever be precious to us.  No one will ever ride Route 84 and not think of them again.

This Sunday morning I walked the dog early and I met my neighbor, she is married to John.  John usually walks the dog, but he worked late last night.  She is a kindergarten teacher.  She was crying as she walked this morning.  She has not stopped , she said her husband --who is a big tough guy has been crying too. They have an autistic child and she has a classroom of children.  I found myself crying because emotions rushed to the surface, I was feeling her pain and some long ago pains and the pain of this..

There is just too much pain to think of.  When I was young, my family lost a child.  We lost a brother, my parents a child.  It is never the same after that.  It does get better, the sadness subsides eventually, but there is a violation of natural order and a void.  My head was left spinning over this tragedy and I will sort it out.  But right now all we can do is pray.

Rose Kennedy, matriarch of the tragedy stricken clan said in response to how did she handle it all:

Even the birds sing after the storm.

I find myslef praying to hear the song of the birds, when will we hear it again.