Parenting is hard.
Some days parenting is really hard.
Today is one of those days. Usually parenting is more difficult for me when I am tired. And today I am very, very tired. Night before last it was my own fault, I went to bed too late. But last night I was in bed by 10:30pm, and fell asleep quickly, but Wyatt is teething and was up too many times to count. My eyes are burning.
I want nothing more than to sleep.
To close my eyes and enjoy a peaceful slumber,
but instead I am up with our three very awake little boys.
And it sucks.
To close my eyes and enjoy a peaceful slumber,
but instead I am up with our three very awake little boys.
And it sucks.
I think I may still be suffering a bit of post holiday letdown,
plus the exhaustion,
plus a lack of normal routine,
plus a bad weigh-in yesterday...
All of it together is making this morning feel quite daunting.
plus the exhaustion,
plus a lack of normal routine,
plus a bad weigh-in yesterday...
All of it together is making this morning feel quite daunting.
Wyatt is teething both his eyeteeth, as well as that stinking fourth molar that is taking its sweet ol' time coming all the way in. His upper gums look terrible. So swollen, bits of pearly white poking through everywhere. The poor kid. His poor mom.
When I am tired, I am less patient. In a perfect world, this lack of patience would lead to better behaved children. Not worse.
But I don't live in a perfect world. So on my least patient days my children are the worst behaved.
They sense my emotions, my impatience, my frustration, and they respond in kind.
With their own emotions, their own impatience, their own frustration.
They sense my emotions, my impatience, my frustration, and they respond in kind.
With their own emotions, their own impatience, their own frustration.
Four and a half years in,
and I am still constantly amazed by the way in which I set the emotions in the house.
If I am happy, they are happy.
If I am sad, they are sad.
It's very powerful.
And, at times, overwhelming.
This morning I sat on the couch, hugging Jack and apologizing for yelling at him, crying.
He asked why I was crying and I said that losing my temper with him makes me feel bad.
And I'm just so tired.
He asked why I was crying and I said that losing my temper with him makes me feel bad.
And I'm just so tired.
He hugged me back tightly, said he forgave me for yelling at him,
and said, "You are tired because Wyatt woke you up so much, so much, so much times?
Because he's teething?"
and said, "You are tired because Wyatt woke you up so much, so much, so much times?
Because he's teething?"
Yes, dear sweet, smart boy.
...I am so lucky
Even on my frustrating days, I am so blessed.
 |
| {sidenote: I recently gave the boys my best haircut to date!} |
I am blessed to have boys who understand even mommy makes mistakes.
I am blessed to have boys who forgive (and forget) so easily.
"It's okay, mommy," as they skip away happily to play dinosaurs.
Parenting is hard.
But that's okay.
They're worth it.
They're worth it.