Junk Yard Dog fighting over the bone

I sit on what is called an Early Settlement Panel, it is a service performed by members of the local bar association  to litigants involved in divorce litigation.  I sit with two very pleasant women lawyers who really are diplomatic and really know their stuff.  We provide our services free of charge.

Skilled and diplomatic are they.
Me, I am neither, but you don't have to  be.  Not when you have a couple coming before you fighting over a 1996 Chevy Tahoe.  That was it.  Sole asset after 10 years of marriage.  A 1996 Chevy Tahoe.

So they come with their lawyers, take a day off from work, have three lawyers sitting there free of charge to provide counsel and assistance to hopefully let them settle the matter and go on with their lives.  So I figure the one hour of time to have cost $1250.00 in legal time. 300  in lost wages and a whole lot of yelling back and forth  between the formerly dearly  in love combatants.

You don't have to be particularly skilled in the law of divorce  or particularly diplomatic to mediate that one.  All you have to be  non homicidal.  I determined that I was non homicidal this morning as I consciously decided not to kill the entire group after quietly listening to them argue over the Tahoe for an hour, the rusty, dented, smoke belching 96 behomouth.

.  No one seemed to mind my threat however, as they quickly signed the papers  with a settled case.