An early start...

So the two little boys woke us at 5.15am.  Boy were we annoyed.  5.15am is THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!!  So there were lots of stern words as we tried unsuccessfully to get them to stay quiet until the sun came up or at least one bird started to chirp.

I lay with my head buried into the pillow feeling grumpy... grumbling .. grumpy .. but then .. made myself pause for a minute .. head buried in the pillow.. and think .. think of the wider picture Mrs D .. the bigger picture .. the whole entire picture.

It was 5.30am... my sons were giggling, my lovely husband was grumbling into his pillow next to me all warm and snugly in our bed .. the sun was about to rise on a clear Saturday morning and despite being a little tired I was also clear.  Clear headed and sober.

I'm bloody 40 years old and I've kicked a dysfunctional drinking habit to the curb and I am sober.

My life has it's ups and downs, way more than it used to.  Sometimes it's tricky. Sometimes it's gritty and I get grumpy or sad.  Sometimes shit happens to people around me and relationships get strained.  Life is tricky, people are complicated, people get sick, shit happens.  Shit happens all the time.  But dammit, all I have to do is not drink alcohol and I'm doing ok.  I am doing ok.

So I got up (I'm not going to embellish here and say all day was peaches and roses) but I got out of bed a damn sight happier that I could have done.  There was no hangover or guilt or concern about my alarming wine consumption, just a tired mother-of-three getting into the day earlier than she would have liked.

I'm feeling better.  I'm glad to hear people telling me that soberversaries can be hard.  I'm kind of annoyed once again to realise that I'll probably always be glum that I can't have a glass of wine or three to unwind.  But I can't.  I didn't.  I don't.  I used to.  Boy did I used to guzzle wine like it was water.  Hard and fast, lots of it.  In the glass it went.  Down my throat.  Bottles in the recycling.  Go get more.  In the glass.  Down the throat.  Wine, wine, wine, wine, wine. Not for me no more.

Now, off to make pizza with Parmesan cheese, thinly sliced potato, anchovies and rocket at the end to finish. Yummy!  A pink sparkling grapefruit juice to drink with it while I sit on the sofa, read my supervisor's notes on my draft chapter and watch the All Blacks play Australia.  Who needs wine.

Love, Mrs D xxx