Yet another sober Friday night..

So Friday night rolls around now and I don't really think about having a drink, I mean I do kind of think about having a drink, in a 'isn't it interesting that I'm not hankering for a drink' kind of thinking about drinking way.  So I'm not not thinking about it. I'm thinking about it, but not in a struggling-thinking way.

Great writing there but you get my drift.

Quick check and I'm 158 days sober.  My first day sober was September 6 so March 6 will be six months.  Oh.  I thought I was nearly 6 months.  I've been telling people that I'm six months sober.  But now I see it's only just over 5 months.  That's a bit deflating.  But irrelevant I suppose.  I keep reading other people's blogs and they're celebrating 2 years and I always WISH that I was two years sober.

I've also kept reading that the 6 month mark is a tough one for some reason. So I'll brace myself for that.  I would love to be floating on a pink cloud like I was a few months back.  Where I felt so clever and special and invincible and Happy! to have kicked the drink.  Now my steady state is proud but low key.  Humble and a bit ...flat?  No, not flat.  Low-key, that's all.

But there's nofuckingway I'm going to drink. Just to make that clear.

My new fancy hairdresser (lovely woman but the salon oh-so-trendy and the prices!!! Yikes!!!) offered me a glass of wine on Thursday and I said no thanks with a smile and then momentarily felt really boring.  Normally with friends or acquaintances I'd launch in with an explanation about how I'd kicked the drink with well-worn lines like 'I was just finding it harder and harder to control so thought I'd remove it altogether' and 'I was a real boozer but I'm so much happier now'.  But at the salon that wasn't really appropriate so I was just left with the feeling of being someone who turned down a treaty glass of wine at 4.15pm on a Thursday.  She'd asked with such a cheeky, fun air too.

Oh well.

Love, Mrs D xxx