November 17, 2011

White Dog nestled against my side. I was feeling a touch out of sync with the world and she could sense my mix of emotions. Maybe it is the time change when day passes so quickly into darkness even though the clock says it is still early. Maybe it is the "OMD, it is nearly THANKSGIVING! Where has the year gone?" sensation. Maybe it is the bittersweet color riot as leaves fall and sweaters come out of storage.

Earlier this week we celebrated Nuka's first Gotcha Day and it seemed on one hand like she has been with us forever (look at all the photos)! On the other, it was just a basket full of days ago that the naked deaf girl growled and postured in fright of the newness of her surroundings. Look at her now.

YoYoMa has systematically been exploring the toybox full of White Dog's toys from her six years of growing up in privilege. She has mostly grown out of chewing plushies and none of the other White Dog Army members have indicated an interest in them...save Puff, who goes through phases where she "adopts" a stuffie as a baby until she tires of playing house and then shreds it.

Seeing YAWD drag out "jack" the multi-armed stuffie and "Moose" who WD had to drag by the antler because he was taller than she was, made me feel like a first time grandma whose grandchild discovers the toys left behind long ago by the parent. I have strolled down memory lane..."remember when White Dog couldn't sleep without lambie?"..."And when Mono the Monkey screamed when you threw him?"..."OMD I thought we had lost kitty on that trip to California years ago!"

Saturday is Puff''s First Gotcha Day and I find myself looking back over her short time with us. She was so sick and so scared for so long. She had such trust issues. I look down to where she lies at my feet and whisper a quiet "thanks" to the Universe. She's my baby girl and yet this year turned 14. Time is so fleeting.

The melancholy is tempered by the joyful moments and celebrations we have all shared and the understanding that just being together is bounty in itself. But as White Dog and I sit watching the sun set and feel the chill creep across the shadows and note that it is barely past teatime, I indulge myself with a wistful sigh.