How’s my maid doing?

I went for a little retreat over the long weekend and had a little problem keeping up with the happenings at home. The 100 page tabloid was on everything except news from paradise. At most there would be a little snippet of news that is not even 1/8 of a page long. And getting on line was a big struggle. The hotel did not have a business centre. Finally found a cybercafé and everyone was playing