Written by Lucy Gannon (7:30) and Stephen Russell (8:30), directed by David Kester.Maria is sick with guilt and grief over the whole Tony-killed-Liam revelation. Mammy and Barry Connor are back on the cobbles and Helen can't help herself. She rips into Maria about letting Tony into her bed and her life. Maria later disappears and the Connors and Kirk find her at Liam's grave with baby Liam. Maria has a breakdown and tells Helen that she needs to take care of baby Liam, because she's no longer fit as a mother, then runs off into the night.
She's not the only one upset over the revelation. Ryan Connor ('member him?) is so upset that he wants to leave Weatherfield altogether saying that all they've had is trouble since they've arrived. Oh, please do, and take your mother with you. Only, he nor Michelle is going anywhere, of course.
It seems as though Becky's turning into a premature golf widow, as it's all Steve seems to be interested in these days. He and Dev schedule a golf game at the club and argue the entire time. First over who's driving, then over who's buying dinner for the winner, then who will win, then who is more of a "guest" member (neither of them), then who will be the member since there is a spot left. They never actually play any golf! I wonder if this was just a fun foray or if it's leading somewhere. Other than Dev tripping over his clubs, it didn't get many laughs from me.
Becky is lonely so she goes over and talks to Gail about her impending wedding. Becky tells Gail that she could choose from either of her wedding dresses and they could be bridal twins! That was funny at the beginning of this double-episode, but seemingly more realistic come the end since Gail might not have the dosh for a new dress. Joe admits to Gail about his insurmountable debt and Gail devises a solution: sell her house, pay his debts and have enough left over for a flat - a flat for TWO. She and Joe let David know that they don't care what he thinks, or seemingly, where he lives after the house is sold. All together now: Go GAIL!!! Although, I wonder what Audrey's going to think of all this. Well, I don't wonder, I know.
It's finally Jesse's birthday, and he lets Eileen know that he has a birthday tradition: having tea with his family. He didn't tell Eileen because he thought she wouldn't be interested in attending. Well, he's right, but Eileen concedes and goes with him anyway. Well, her night was spoiled by her distaste for his family, and his by her anger. In the end, he doesn't care that she's upset, and I can't for the life of me wonder why these two are still together.
Blanche is in her finest, and on her finest with an unsightly amount of rouge on her cheek this episode! She upstages a dinner party, as usual. If it weren't enough that she was three sheets to the wind, she also decided to hang out the Barlow's dirty laundry on the line as well. George wasn't too happy to learn that Peter is an ex-alcoholic and Leanne an ex-prossie! He later apologised in what is becoming his signature recovery: with expensive gifts and forced sincerity. I just don't trust that man.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Barry Connor for putting his foot down on Helen's acid tongue.
- Kirk being like Lassie and knowing where to lead Helen and Barry to find Maria.
- Hayley telling the factory girls to "shut up, shut up, shut up" when they kept barraging her with questions pertaining to Tony's whereabouts. Go Hayley!
- Hayley telling the factory girls that Tony killed Liam Connor, then Janice asking, "The Baby?" and Hayley correcting her, then asking her how stupid could she be? Hilarious.
- Steve pointing out the irony that he owns a cab firm, but can't get a cab when looking to book one for he and Dev to go to their golf game in.
- Gail's face when Becky suggested they be bridal twins! Haha.
- Joe telling Gail about his debts. It's good he actually told her, instead of getting into more trouble. It'll still most likely end in tears, but what the heck?
- Eileen realising her place on the pecking order in Jesse's life is below every one of his family members and somewhere short of a parrot! Why is she with him then? I'd be happy to see the back of his character to be honest. Does nothing for me.
- Simon asking granny Blanche why she has her "funny face on" when Blanche arrives for dinner glazed in far too much rouge. That kid's got some great one-liners.
LOWLIGHTS
- Ryan, upon hearing about the truth behind his uncle's murder, shudders an unconvincing "noooo" from the living room. Then, Maria worrying about Ryan. Who cares?
- Mammy Connor and her acid tongue! That woman needs to control herself.
- The golf club manager telling Dev and Steve that a member had recently deceased leaving one place open. Erm, should that person be the next in line on the 5-year wait list?
- Blanche outing the Barlow's dirty laundry, again. I mean, it's what she does, but how did she think this would make her more attractive to George?
For those who enjoy the scenic route, check out the full review scene-by-scene here.