Some of the cyclists in our city are simply cycling too fast!
They sprint along our streets, down the hills, and eventually, into our cars. At which point we, the drivers, get the blame for pulling out without looking -whereas its clearly these tax-dodging underpeople's fault for sprinting round the city creating accidents.
Take this view of Nine Tree Hill, secretly recorded. The tax-dodging lycra-lout is going down the hill so fast they barely have time to brake for the car that pulls out of the side road without warning
The driver was lucky that they managed to accelerate away -only their reflexes prevented a major accident. And you know who would get the blame don't you? The driver -always us. There's even some EU legislation which would make such blame assignment automatic, which is another reason to oppose the EU.
Fortunately, we still have the police on our side. Here is a photo of Dru Marland's collision where a car turning right from Worcester Road onto College Road, turned into Dru, who was going along College Road with the right of way, turning right.
We were worried that after this incident, it would be the car that got the blame -when if the bicycle had not been there, there would not have been any accident!
The police have finished their investiation, and here we are pleased to announce that they will not be citing the driver, paritally because Dru "was riding too fast", according to a witness.
We now hope that since the police have reached this conclusion, Dru will be compensating the driver for the damage done to their bumper, with additional compensation for the damage to their reputation.