This week the update’s been making a list and checking it twice. And as all of its friends are both naughty and nice, Christmas shopping next weekend will be spent mainly in Selfridges lingerie department. I’m giving posh pants to them all. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
Cast your mind back to last week with Roy in the canal, floundering with only his shopping bag to keep him afloat, as evil Tony Gordon runs away. But hang on, what’s this, evil Tony Gordon stops his running, turns and runs back? Not only does he run back but he rescues Roy, saves his life and gives him the kiss of life. Roy recovers, as we all knew he would (and should) and Tony turns himself in at the cop shop. Tony’s gone from catalogue man to cold-blooded killer, as all good soap dudes do.
Meanwhile, Maria’s beside herself with grief when she finds out the truth about Tony killing Liam. Mammy and Barry Connor fly in from Ireland - Barry flew on RyanAir, Mammy came by broomstick. Maria dumps baby Liam on them, saying she can’t cope and the Connors offer to take her and the wee one to Ireland, and Maria agrees. Kirk pledges his support for Maria when he finds out she’s leaving for Ireland. “I’m never far away,” he tells her, which is a lie as he’s always on another planet. Just as Maria’s pulling herself together there’s a knock on the door. Maria opens it to find the face of Carla Connor, staring in at her. She’s clearly been Tangoed, has Carla. Carla lies to Maria, the cops and Leanne and says she didn’t know that Tony killed Liam but admitted that she once guessed he wasn’t that fond of bats.
Over at the Barlows’, there’s another tea party but alas, a distressing lack of cheese straws. Was I the only Corrie fan to bake some cheese straws after Deirdre’s disastrous attempt the other week? Oh, it was just me then. Be-ro do a foolproof recipe and Deirdre should take note. But anyway, this tea party’s for George and Eve to get to know the Barlows and Blanche decides that as there’s a new fella in the house, she’s going to do a bit of flirting. She plasters her face with make-up and then gets plastered on white wine, airing the Barlow dirty laundry: “Did you know Deidre’s an ex-con, Peter’s an ex-alcholic and Leanne’s an ex-prossie?” It’s just as well she kept quiet about Ken being an old f*rt although I suspect they’ll soon find that one out.
Gail puts her house up for sale when Joe tells her his debts have spiralled out of control. And the first person to look around the property is Joe’s loan shark, who’s got to be one of Corrie’s most evil fellas that it’s had in a long time. And what does Gail to do an evil fella with a sick, twisted mind? She invites him into her home with a smile on her face. The plan is to sell the house, pay off Joe’s debts, move into a small flat and live happily ever after. As this is Gail Platt, that plan ain’t ever gonna work.
Tedious storyline of the week involved Dev and Steve on a golf course where Dev bats his eyelashes at a lady golf coach called Bernie. It’s dull but I just hope it’s leading somewhere. However, the temptation to write a joke about Bernie playing around with Dev’s balls was too hard to overcome and so I just did.
And finally this week, Sally wants to know if Molly’s been fiddling with Kev. It’s the garage accounts that Sally worries about, as Molly and Kevin snuggle up in yet another nasty hotel room for yet another night of vomit-inducing passion in their seedy affair. As the couple go sub-duvet, both their phones ring and it’s Sally on the phone to them both, wanting to balance income and output. Kevin and Molly were hoping to do the same.And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Wadlow, Lucy Gannon, Stephen Russell, Jonathan Harvey and Jayne Hollinson. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.
Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates
Glenda Young
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