10 Things I Need According to Google

I just performed a quick Google experiment by doing a search for "C.J. needs." Here are the top ten results:

1. C.J. needs a laxative: If I was the C.J. in question on this post, I'd be handing out certain consequences and repercussions to the person in my life who thought my internal plumbing emergency worthy of a blog post.

2. C.J. needs to become the region's highest appellate court: Um. *looks around* I thought I already was.

3. C.J. needs a hip replacement: I'd feel sorry for this C.J. if I wasn't sort of jealous. I'd rather need a hip replacement than worry I might need a lobotomy instead. (Have you read how many times I've hit my head in the last few years?! Oy.)

4. C.J. needs a vacation: Preach it, sister.

5. C.J. needs numbers: Hm. 12. 3894. 9495793857892020. There you go. Glad to help.

6. C.J. needs to go: Perhaps this C.J. should hook up with C.J. #1.

7. C.J. needs to have a Dairy Queen: A whole Dairy Queen? Really? Cause I'd settle for just a blizzard.

8. C.J. needs to offer a sacrifice: Fine. You can have my flip flops. Yes, I own a pair, but they were a GIFT. Also, you can have my hubby's ratty gray shorts which he refuses to throw away.

9. C.J. needs to shoot more: I totally agree. Who wants to give me a gun for Christmas?

10. C.J. needs help with algebra: Isn't that the truth. Actually (and I believe my high school math teacher will back me up on this) I'm beyond help. Waaaaay beyond help.