Are you poor? �Do you often find yourself to be rabidly jealous of people who are rich enough to do fun things? �Well, hold on to your hats because you are about to start living the high life with my fool-proof guide to having fun like a rich person - FOR FREE!! �Rich-Person Activity: �Going to Horse Races
How you can do it too:
1. Find a few horses. �
2. Check to make sure that the owner of the horses is away doing rich-person things.�
3. �Make a sound like a grizzly bear.�
4. �Watch to see if your horse flees to the opposite side of the corral the fastest. �
Cost: $0 if you don't get caught or trampled.�
Rich-Person Activity:�Golf
How you can do it too:
1. Go to a public park. �
2. Dig a few holes in the ground. �
3. Find a smallish round rock that will fit in the holes you've dug. �
4. Get a big stick. �
5. Hit the rock with the stick. �
6. Try to get the rock into one of the holes, minimizing the number of times you have to hit it with the stick. �
Cost: $0
Note: Rich people are careless with their infinitely replaceable things, so you can often find actual golf balls if you sneak onto a golf course after hours.�
Rich-Person Activity: Dinner and a Movie
How you can do it too:
1. Obtain food. �
2. Walk around in a fancy neighborhood until you find a house with a television that you can see from outside. �The larger the television, the less likely it is that you will be arrested for trespassing while trying to read subtitles (rich people like foreign films. �This is good because you won't be able to hear the TV anyway.)�
3. Find a comfortable place to settle in and enjoy your film. �Large trees, parked cars (if you are fortunate enough to have a car) and salvaged lawn chairs are all good options. �
4. �If you have to trespass to see the television clearly, cut eyeholes in a black bed sheet and drape it over yourself. �(note: keep bed sheet for use in future adventures).�
Cost: �$0 if you steal your food from a restaurant waist bin or coordinate your movie night with the schedule of your local soup kitchen. �
Rich-Person Activity: Sailing
How you can do it too: �
1. Find a large, wooden object at your local dump. �If you cannot find a large, wooden object at the dump, thrift stores often carry large, wooden objects and will sell them to you for only a few dollars if the object is hideous enough. �
2. Find a bed sheet. �
3. Put the large, wooden object in the water. �
4. Sit on large wooden object. �If you do not get wet, you are clear to proceed to step 5.�
5. Hold bed sheet above your head. �
6. Wait for wind. �
Cost: �$0 if you can find the necessary items at the dump. �$5-10 if you have to purchase your items at a thrift store.
Rich-Person Activity: Going on Vacation
How you can do it too:
1. �Find or purchase a very strong pair of reading glasses.
2. �Walk around with the glasses on your face. �
3. �Rediscover your formerly familiar surroundings! � The best part is that reading glasses come in a variety of different strengths, and each one will make your physical environment appear differently from the next. �You can even wear two pairs of glasses, one over the other, for an entirely new experience! �
4. �For an extra touch of authenticity, ask people to speak to you in a foreign accent. �If your dream vacation is in outer space, as people to make alien/spaceship sounds.
Cost: $0 if you can find/borrow reading glasses. �Often, you can take glasses right off the face of a sleeping vagrant. ��
Rich-Person Activity: Rock Climbing
How you can do it too:
1. Find a large rock.�
2. Climb the rock.
3. Don't fall.
Cost: $0 if you don't fall
Rich-Person Activity: Going to the Mall
How you can do it too:�
1. Go to a mall.�
Cost: $0 if you take the bus and don't buy anything while you're there.�
Rich-Person Activity: �Hanging out by the pool
How you can do it too:�
1. �Dig a big hole in your yard (if you do not have a yard, dig a hole in the sand at the beach)�
2. �Dump out your rich neighbor's garbage and steal the bag. �You may need to do this several times to have enough bags. �
3. �Line your hole with the garbage bags you've stolen from your rich neighbors. �
4. Fill the hole with buckets of water or water from a hose. �If you do not have a bucket or a hose, steal another garbage bag and use it to transport your water. �If you are so poor that your water has been turned off, you can simply perform steps 1-3 and then wait for it to rain.�
5. �Hang out by your pool!�
Cost: $0�