71st birthday invitation: "Bring hiking clothes, sunblock, and sex assists"

Memories of Robert are always gliding through my mind. Sometimes they arrive without any apparent prompt, but usually something I see (a hummingbird, ripened blackberries), do (a dance I can see see him dancing so gracefully), or hear (a song with words that break my heart) triggers the memory.

Today I unearthed an invitation I wrote to Robert for a mystery 71st birthday outing -- the last birthday we would share. As I read it, I started to cry, but then burst into laughter when I read the end. Enjoy:

Dearest Robert,
We’re celebrating your 71st birthday at an unknown destination. Please clear your schedule from 12:30 pm Thursday until the next afternoon and pack the following:
• cool-weather, hiking-suitable clothes/shoes/jacket/hat
• restaurant semi-dressy/casual outfit
• swimsuit/ sunglasses/ sunblock/ outdoor slip-on shoes/sandals
• underwear, socks, moisture lotion for two days, one overnight
• sex assists: Wedge, Dr. Ruth, Liquid Silk, Buzzy, silk underwear

Your loving wife,
Joan