Remote, you have one function:� controlling the TV from a distance so that I do not have to get off the couch.� It kind of defeats the purpose when you insist on being held 7 inches away from the sensor before you�ll do your job.�
I know the TV is big and intimidating, but you have to stand up to it.� Tell it what to do.� It understands that you are only taking orders from me.��
Here are the things I expect you to be able to communicate to the TV:
�Wake up, it�s movie time.�
�Play the movie.�
�Stop the movie for a little bit.�
�Stop the movie forever.�
�Speak up.�
�Please use your inside voice.�
�Please display your menu.�
�Please select this particular item from your menu.�
�Speak English.�
�Go fast.�
�Go backwards.�
�Stop what you are doing, it is no longer movie time.�
If you are uncomfortable saying any of these things to the TV, I may find it necessary to open up your position to a more assertive remote.� �I am sorry, but this is a job that requires the candidate to be able to manage effectively from a distance.� If the TV doesn�t respect you, it will not listen to you, and if the TV does not listen to you, I actually have to use my muscles to walk over to it and tell it what to do myself.�
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