Dear George,
I’m SO upset and fed up with my female housekeeper’s arrogance
that I can barely meow or write.
All it takes to see how mad I’m right now is to take a look at my picture,
“cramped” in this small fruit basket! You can tell I’m furious, right? vBut…here is the story; last night I was enjoying reading from your book “The Joy of Cats” (great book, by the way! thank you so very much for it).
You see, when I’m reading I like to indulge in few treats; so I asked Cayenne to bring me some. She couldn’t find any (we know where they “hide” our treats) so she started meowing calling upon “our mommy”. Believe it or not, our female human ignored all our meowing, pretending that she’s busy. Her attitude was upsetting me, so I pretended that I’m hungry and wanted my dinner served right away.
I waited quietly until she opened a can for me and then I REFUSED to eat it.
I continued to stay there to make her open another can which she normally does (my plot was to make her open as many cans as possible). I could not believe when she just walked away without saying anything. After 20 minutes or so, as I was still sitting there thinking of what I should do next to punish her, she just came by and took the food away. WHAT? I pinched myself; this can not be true!
She will never ever dare to do this to me. Well, I told you George that lately she has some attitude! She took my food away and I heard her saying “Fluffy, you just missed dinner”.
Such impertinence and arrogance! I’m not going to put up with this; this means war!
I pushed Cayenne again to ask for treats since apparently she has a “problem” with me.
Guess what! When “my daddy” asked her why she’s not giving us any treats …her answer was “not healthy”.
What...does she expect me to chew on carrots and broccoli just because she thinks it’s healthy? George, what should I do, as I’m a little hungry now, but I don’t want to give up and eat without punishing her first. She should pay dearly for her arrogance!
Love
Fluffy
Dear Fluffy,
Here in the UK there is great controversy about using punishment as a training method. All the good dog trainers are up in arms against Cesar Milan and even in the USA the American Veterinary Association has condemned his methods. Naturally I don't watch the programme - why should I want to look at dogs?
Punishment for humans? I favour it. I always have. It is, of course, very wrong for humans to punish animals but when animals punish humans it is ethically acceptable. Well, to me it is. How otherwise can we get through to them? They are such dumb creatures that stern measures are necessary.
First of all try psychological punishment by using a control of attention programme. This means that you actively ignore the offending human. Do not look at them, rub on them, or go anywhere near them. Sit with your back to them - the offended dignity of a cat's back is quite a striking sight. If they come into the room, leave. Stop sharing the bed with them. If they come over to pet you, get up with dignity and stalk out. Humans are very sensitive to this silent treatment of withdrawing attention and it is usually enough to bring your human back into line with the treats.
Your refusal to eat was a very good move, Fluffy. But clearly your human is getting wise to cat training methods. Can you fix for somebody else to feed you, Fluffy? Here in the UK, we usually organise several different feeders down our street so that we can pop out and do lunch with them any time we wish. Or is there any food you could steal? Just jumping on to the kitchen surface and pulling down the dried food bag (if there is one) might work fine. Or perhaps if you target your secondary human, the partner, you can get him to feed you instead. Walk round him mewing and looking pathetically hungry. That might produce tension between them - "How can you be so cruel to poor Fluffy?" That's a punishment in itself.
If you can't organise food from elsewhere, you may have to eat what you are given. If so, move on to fiercer methods. Biting and clawing are the final ways we cats can express our feelings and reduce our humans to the proper submissive state. They should only be a last resort.
Love George
PS. I sent my assistant to a veterinary conference where acupuncture was taken seriously as a method of controlling pain in the dog. So, if a vet offers it, it might be worth a try - not worth letting a non-veterinary person do it, however, as they will not have been taught how canine or feline anatomy differs from human anatomy. Besides, in the UK only vets are allowed to treat animals - though complementary therapists can if the vet refers the animal.
PPS. That box looks a bit small...
