Holey Rear View, Batman!

1. The other night I came home from work and Starshine ran to give me hug.

2. After hugging me, he pulled back, frowned at me and said "You smell like pancakes."

3. I work at Cracker Barrel. Pancakes are a way of life.

4. He then patted my arm and said, "Don't worry, Mom. It could be worse."

5. *eye roll*

6. I'm surrounded by boys. I know worse.

7. I was in our local Books A Million Saturday night with Myra, trolling the YA section, alternately looking for new titles to read and stopping complete strangers to recommend Demon's Lexicon and Shiver when I stumbled upon a Wonder Woman comic.

8. Long time blog readers will know that in Paul's honor, I simply couldn't pass it up.

9. I grabbed it, started reading, and found the following line (from WW herself): "I won't stop until I put your head on a pole and post it near our latrines."

10. I think she's on to something.

11. The threat of beheading and pole-posting shame isn't nearly as scary if you don't toss in the word "latrine."

12. The Scientist is now an avid iPhone fan and is looking forward to his birthday (nine months from now) in hopes he'll get one as a present.

13. Riiiiight.

14. He took one look at my face after explaining to me how buying him an iPhone would be the best possible move on my part and said, "Man, I hope you get a big fat book deal. My iPhone hopes are depending on it!"

15. Starshine is now taking karate and is quite good at it. It's the first activity he's done where he's able to totally focus on the task at hand.

16. This past Saturday, he took his first belt test and advanced to a yellow belt.

17. This past Sunday, Clint and I had a small run-in with a stomach virus.

18. These two facts are unrelated.

19. Or they would be if Starshine hadn't raised his hand in karate class Monday afternoon and informed his instructor, his fellow students, and all the parents sitting around me, that his mom and dad were throwing up the day before.

20. I was moderately embarrassed.

21. If only I knew ...

22. From karate class, Starshine and I hit our local Kroger for a gallon of milk, which is, of course, located at the very back of our store.

23. After we got home, I was in the kitchen talking to Clint when I realized I had a hole in the seat of my pants.

24. Not along the seam or some other easily hidden area.

25. Right smack dab in the middle of my pants, visible to anyone who, say, sat behind me in the folding chairs at karate class.

26. Now I have reason to be embarrassed.