Because it is election year, and we are having such a difficult time choosing a new president, the Queen has decided to come across the pond and revoke our independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all the states. Effective immediately~
*The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour', and 'neighbour'.
*You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse.
*All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving your motorcar on the left side of the road. 
*You will adopt the UK prices for petrol- of roughly $10/US gallon.
*A tax collector from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
*Tea Time will begin promptly at 4 pm with tea cups and saucers, biscuits and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. *The national food of hamburgers and fries will be replaced with fish and chips with mashy peas, to be washed down with an ale.
Cheers y'all,
Sandi